The villain wasn't hard to find. All over the street, superheroines
were lying around, half unconscious, moaning silently.
"Hey, isn't that Infectious Lass? They send in her? My, that's what I call desperation!" "Yeah, and even her bacteria are orgasming! HAHAHA! Aw damn it, I still have to work on Evil Laugh #13. I hope you two beauties are street whores, because if you are the umptieth bunch of superheroines wanting to clobber me, you will encounter a very pleasurable fate. No, wait, other way round, this doesn't make sense...Aw, sod it. You know, this Excessive Machine thing was an epic fail, so I eliminated some design flaws. This is just my Big Villain Explanation speech in case you are superheroines after all." "Hey, we're com-ple-te-ly harmless. This is just the new fashion in this universe."
Vampirella laid all her Draculonne charming in her voice. "You have a really big gun there, don't you?" Durand Durand got more and more distracted, and that was the signal for Pantha, who sneaked around his back side, to turn into a werepanther and jump at him, yelling "Street whore, eh?" Vampirella turned into a bat at the same time and went to the jugular from the front.
Unfortunately, the gun look of the orgasm weapon was deceptive. It fired a spherical wavefront and got Vampirella and Pantha just a few inches before the target. Too bad Durand Durand had snapped out of his asset admiration for a second. Rule 239: Battlecries are counterproductive. The blast hit them in mid air. Durand Durand stepped aside with an elegance one wouldn't have expected from his Mad Scientist outfit. Science fun fact: Whereas the "petit mort" type is strictly limited to human females, animals have orgasms too. The shock let Vamps&Panth take their human forms instinctively, and since reappearing properly clothed needed some concentration, they crashed into each other nude, fell over each other like bowling pins and landed on the pavement in a 69 position. Already severely hornified, Vampirella and Pantha began pleasuring themselves with tongues and fingers before they could regain a clear thought. And when they finally remembered for what they came for, the already came and it felt too good to stop. "Panth...OOOOH...why does it ALWAYS end in a lesbian orgy with you? I'm...AAAAH...no lez, technically speaking...AAAH!" "Shup up, Vamps...mmmmh...and lick on...OOOOO!" "Party on, girls, it saves me precious munition..." Durand Durand grinned.
And then blackness engulfed the street. "I herd u liek bumraps?"
"Not a-no-ther wannabe. Please STFU and lay yourself orgasming to the others." Durand Durand fired in the generic direction. "OOOOH...that tickles...do you have some more?"
"They must be completely desperate, they sent Shadow Lass! We're doommmpfff!" Pantha pressed Vampis head deep between her thighs and so hindered her to reveal an important detail to Durand Durand - Tasmias powers growing exponentially with her orgasms. (This is Shokoshu canon, but don't bother to search the DC database.) So he fired on and on. First Tasmia was purring. Then she was moaning. Then she was screaming. Then she was essentially a goddess. "I have become Black Hole Sun, devourer of the world!" ("More like Black Hole Sue", Vampirella surely would have quipped, if she weren't so busy orgasming.) But Shadow Lass surely didn't boast. Everything that wasn't nailed tight began to move to her nether regions. Durand Durand tried to run away, but he would have needed to run at superluminal speed. "Damn it, I don't have an unbirth fetish either!" screamed Vampirella when she was sucked into Tasmias vagina, together with 1 mad scientist and countless superheroines. (How they fitted through? Kruskal metrics, of course. Man, you shouldn't read Shokoshu porn without absolving a studium of physics first.)
Tasmia caressed her swollen womb. "Squirm, my little babies,
soon the singularity will reduce you to nothing!" Orgasm power
overload always brought out the most evil side of her character.
Pantha, in the meantime, had come to her senses again. She probably had had more orgasms in her life than any of the captured superheroines added. Including Vampirella. Angrily, she grabbed Durand Durand by the neck. "You and your stupid fucking weapon! See you in hell!" And she threw him into the white hot glowing singularity.
The mad scientist screamed in agony as he was spaghettified. Then his weapon exploded. A hyperdimensional technobabble interference ensued. "What the...Pantha, the explosion opened a wormhole through Tasmias cervix! Quick, grab these stupid cunts and shove them through!" "I *heard* that," growled Power Girl who had regained enough sense to lend a hand. "Yeah, yeah, bite me but now catch Fragile Lass who is drifting into the horizon!" With joined forces, Earths superheroine population was saved from a most tidal fate.
"So the weapon is destroyed, together with its inventor?" Spectre
inquired. "Yes, I could kick myself in the ass! All the
interesting things one could have used it for..." Pantha grumbled.
"Uhm, Mr. CIA-Man here surely was interested in a non-deadly
option for dispensing pussy riots, right? Why didn't I hear
from Shadow Lass in the news, anyway?" Vampirella asked.
"Oh, the effect quickly wore off, this Dark Phoenix thingie they
encounter twice a week...and nobody got hurt, right?"
Vampirella set up a skewed grin. "Just taste and dignity..."