"Why we are not storming the cellar and flatten the bugs?" asked Pantha, tactically challenged as always.
"Spiders, not bugs. I know the routine, that's why. The whole setup smells more fishy than Aquaman's wiener. I bet somewhere here is a trap door. You fall into the spider net, are glued like a fly, and then the spider comes with her ovipositor..."
"Oviwhat?"
"Well, her penis."
"HER penis??"
"That's why I said ovipositor. So, she strips you naked, cocoons you up, places a vibrating silkline at your clit to make you wet and drink your love juices..."
"Ooooooh! Sounds fascinating! From where do you get all that sexy knowledge?"
"Beast Boy's secret diary. If only half of it isn't just his dreams, I envy Raven and Kory. Unfortunately, this is no Hentai fantasy and the next thing will be she lays her eggs into your womb, and you will hang there a week helplessly waiting that they hatch and eat you alive from the inside. They save the brain for last, in your case they probably have to play Rock–Paper–Scissors for it."
Pantha of course totally didn't get the secret insult. "Urgh yuck...oh, and you?"
"I can fly."
About five meters above our lovely pair, a malfuntioning trap door swung open. Assorted arachnid cusswords could be heard.
"Cellar and we still found no...yikes!" Panthas flashlight shone on a mass of little spiders. She threw Vampirella a Bug-Ex spraycan. "Bleagh! Spray them little buggers!"
A first newborn spider squirmed out of Vampirellas vagina, when the boss raepspider started lecturing. (Evidently, no villain can resist that, even if arachnid who isn't supposed even to have vocal chords.) "Y'know, we are no animals. Say, haven't you been chestbursted by an alien? Chestbursted, mhehehe. What an incompetent way of procreation. It's so hard to find good hosts, so why kill them? Recycling rules! You are immortals, so enjoy an eternity of horrorgasms as brood mothers!" Frankly, the speech was for the birds as Vampirella and Pantha only paid attention to selfsame horrorgasms and couldn't be reached for comment. The raepspider shrugged his shoulders...wait, spiders have no shoulders either. OK, so he shrugged his cephalothorax and pulled out his cellular phone.
The stairs resounded with nearing steps and an annoyed but unmistakably feminine "Now which idiot left an open trap door in the way?". The raepspider rubbed his hands...the maxillae, sorry, the maxillae. Can someone throw out that annoying zoologist? Thanks. Where was I? "Oh please, let it be Triplicate Girl!" he drooled, not paying attention to continuity. (And why should he? Continuity is a fair maiden which has been screwed more often than even Pantha.)
Another nice mess you've gotten me into, Pantha, thought Vampirella, and with an evil grin she said to Infectious Lass: "Say, Drura, do you still have your gender-changing germs?" "Surely. Do you like 'Human', 'Horse' or 'Even Demeter would faint at the sight?' "
The End
"Spiders are no insects."
"Can they read? Eeeek, they are crawling into my undies! Sprayyyyy!"
Vampirella and Pantha quickly realized that it would have been much easier to fight a six-foot spider (just kick him...her...into the balls...the ovipositor...ah, forget it) than this annoying Zerg Rush. Although Vampirella had lightning fast reflexes and Pantha wasn't much slower, the spiders were crawling all over the place, and some sneaky bastiches even dropped off the ceiling. Oh God, how it tickled! The girls ripped off their clothings (luckily, not much to rip) but then...
"Seven-legged freaks!
But even the mighty Drakulonne couldn't resist. All her strength left her. Larger spiders came out and glued Pantha, who already wriggled in ecstasy, to the ceiling. And then the extra large boss raepspider came and took Vampirella in an eight-legged embrace. She too got impregnated and cocooned beside Pantha, who squealed: "Uuuhng! They are squirming in my womb!"
Then they both fell silent (except for a few lust squeals) and could only enjoy their predicament.
"Hello? Is there the Legion of Superheroes? We have a bug problem here. What? I know you're not Pest Control, but it's kind of a super bug." (How he knew that they would send a nubile lass like, say, Shady? And not, say, Superboy, who is somewhat unsuited for breeding? Easy. It's a Hentai story.
Also, if you prefer Watsonian over Doylist, the super-girls would want to show that they aren't afraid of crawlies.)
Hooboy, was he in for a disappointment.
"Superbugs, eh? Try some of my own bugs, you buggers!" That was the cavalry, aka Drura. "Spiders (gasp) are not bugs..." Vampirella automatically interlocuted between two orgasms. The raepspider, alas, had only famous last words. "Of all the chicks, they had to send Infectious Lass!" he whined. Then he and his spider army threw all eights into the air.
"Vampiiiii!" Pantha squealed, half in panic...half in anticipation.