(Author's note: requires knowledge of Buffy season 5 finale or better. Otherwise giant spoiler ahead.)
Dawn cried as her big sister threw herself into the energy portal to close up the leak into the hell dimensions.
"Noooo...she sacrificed her life for mine...I should have died there..."
Dawn squealed her head off. It took the combined force of Giles and Spike to just hold her fixed so that a quickly called medic could apply a tranquilizer. Of course, he couldn't do anything for Buffy. "Poor thing", Spike mumbled. "First her mother, then her sister. Such rotten destiny should be forbidden."
"Right. Even if she is just a key." said Anya, as ever to the point.
"Shaddap!" the Scoobies retorted unisono, minus Xander.
Dawn swore. She had had stopped short before the reanimation of her mother as...well, whatever, and what did it help? This time she would do something idiotic, and this time she would not stop in the last second. And if the universe went to hell. Should it go. And she already knew which person to ask...
"Yes pant, Anya?"
"These senseless deaths make me so depressed. Fuck me a fourth time."
"Anya wheeze, I'm only human!"
"So, me not?"
Anya locked Xanders head firmly between her thighs. Should he cunniling himself out of suffocation if he wanted to argue...
"Ethan! Come out! I know you are somewhere!"
"Well, if that isn't the Key? You are very brave to come her alone..."
"Alone! Ha! You did hide because you saw Giles sneaking around, right? Well, I lured him here by a fake info. See this button? One press and all hell breaks loose. Giles gets alerted and you will have to explain why you wanted to kidnap me. I think this time he'll rip your guts out without further questioning! So you either do want I want..."
"Oh, I love when little girls turn evil! Spare me your threats, you want to bring Buffy back, right? Another Zombie manouvre?"
"No, something much better. You know the Amulet of Anyanka?"
"Which Giles destroyed, unluckily? Oh, the Queen of Chaos was so to my heart..."
"Cut your detractions out! I bet it wasn't the only one - surely there must be some Magic-R-Us repair service..." Dawn threw the scorched rests of the amulet before Ethan's feet.
"Assume it is...what is in for me?"
"You keep your guts...and get your beloved Queen of Chaos back. Looks like a fair deal to me."
"Oh, I love bargaining with you..."
A week later. Same abandoned warehouse. Ethan entered with a smug grin.
"Here. As good as new. Did cost me an arm and a leg and all my connections to the other side..."
Dawn ripped the amulet from his hand. "You will know when something happens - or better, you will not know, because it never happened. It's time this universe gets changed for the better, once." With a triumphant smile, she left the scene.
"Girl, you will soon learn that one shouldn't tamper with hell or old Ethan..."
Dawn entered Xanders room. "You said you had a present for me? Oh, presents are so cool!
What did it cost?" Anya was a master in the art of socializing.
"Old Chinese proverb, don't ask for the price, ask for the value. Ta-daaaah!" Dawn produced the rebuilt amulet from her pocket. Anya's eyes widened. "Is that...?" "Yes, it's exactly that. Well, you'll have to try first if it was repaired properly..." Anya greedily took the amulet from Dawn's hands and put it around her neck. Instantly, her face turned into her demonic self. "And now I wish..." began Dawn. "You wish? Girl, I granted stupid wishes for a few thousand years, and what did I get? Stuck in a mortal body! Bleech! Get second place on the queue because now I am doing some wishing for myself!"
"But that's against the rules..."
"Rules, schmules. Now what do I need first?"
Xander entered on cue. "Hi Dawn, hi Anya...nka??"
"Exactly. That's what I need first. Shazam!"
"Higher Powers anally retentive again? OK, OK. I wish that Xander has some more standing in bed. My wish is my command! Son of Shazam!"
And then it happened. Or, better, it did not happen, because it always had been the case.
Anyankas powers surely were as easily understandable as quantum physics.
Because they are quantum physics - never heard of Anyons? The Author
Well, nearly forgot to mention what 'happened'. Xander turned into a tentacle monster, the usual Japanese God's-Gift-To-Woman variety.
"Better. Much better," commented Anyanka, viewed Xanders new interesting appendages, and undressed.
"Looks like the guy from the Anime movie Buffy didn't want me to see. Of course Spike had a copy..." snickered Dawn.
Dawn and Anyanka were meta-supernatural beings and could remember the universe switch. Xander, on the other tentacle, had only one thing in mind. (Not that that really changed.) Pseudopenises erected and dripped eldritch lubrication liquid.
"Dawn, get out. He is all mine!"
"Pshaw. As if he hasn't enough tentacles for two..."
"You are underaged! Get out!"
"This is absurd! Just because these stupid monks defined me to be little sister... Say, why don't you change the history to make me legal age?"
"Because the High Powers would still make a ruckus! Because then the universe would be destroyed all four weeks!"
"D'oh!" Dawn suddenly recognized the implications of the rules. "And if I take the Pill? And since when does a demoness care for the universe?"
"Since it contains my Xandybaby! And now I wish that you close the door from outside!"
"Spoilsport...But if you are through here, my own wish..."
"Yeah, yeah. Important things first. You - later."
Dawn closed the door from outside, grumbling. In the same moment, Anyanka began to squeal delightedly. And then again.
Dawn looked on her watch. What, already three hours gone? And behind the door
nobody seemed to have an interest in stopping.
After six hours, Dawn got bored and went. "I come back tomorrow!" "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Well, that probably wasn't an answer.
Dawn also came back the whole next week. Then she let out some very un-girlish
swearings about the sexual stamina of demonesses and gave up.
A bit too early.
"Yes pant, Anyanka?"
"These senseless deaths still make me so depressed. Fuck me a four thousandth time."
"Anyanka wheeze, I'm only superhuman!"
"So, me not?"
Anyanka locked Xanders monster head firmly between her thighs. Should he cunniling himself out of suffocation if he wanted to argue...