It all began on the Yearly Halloween Costume Pageant. (Technically, it's
Halloween every day in the Neitherworld, so make that
Lydia really put her heartblood into her new-fangled Vampirella outfit. But, despite all ogling, the first prize again went to Beetlejuice for his "Bug Rogers" impersonation.
"This is no fair!" Lydia frowned. "You can do magic!"
"Drop dead!" Beetlejuice retorted.
Lydia began to sob.
"Hey, cut it out, I didn't mean it that way! Just do the ole Cobain, and, blammo! your problem is solved." Beetlejuice conjured up a shotgun from his pants and handed it to Lydia.
Ginger jumped in to the discussion. "He's telling fat lies again. Anyone who has read The Book of the Recently Deceased knows that not everyone who dies becomes a ghost. Hardly anyone becomes a ghost! I don't want you to straight to heaven and be lost forever!"
"Sacre Bleu, Ginger is right to the bone!" Jacques assisted. "Moi knows only one surefire way: everyone killed by a ghost becomes one."
Lydias face lightened up. "Really?" She handed back the shotgun to Beetlejuice, wound a scarf around her eyes and commanded: "Shoot!"
Lydia angrily ripped the scarf back from her eyes. "Beetlejuice, since when do you care about any rules? Now shoot!"
Beetlejuice shot. From the mouth of the barrel came a flag reading BANG! YOU ARE DEAD! and hit Lydia over the head.
"Rules. You can't defy the law of gravity, I can't defy the law that no ghostly magic can kill the living. Hardly inflict any physical harm at all, to be precise." Lydia sceptically fumbled on the big horn that began to grow on her head. "Although..." Beetlejuice was searching for a loophole. "...yes, now I dimly remember, The Neitherworld vs. Freddy Krueger, paragraph 666...here I have it. A ghost may scare any living person to death. BOO!"
Ginger squealed and jumped up on her string like a zipped window shutter. Jacques fell to pieces us usual. But Lydia..."Nya-ha-ha, Beetlejuice, you look like the monster from 'Alien'!"
"Ummm, Lydia, that was exactly the idea," Beetlejuice grumbled.
Unluckily, also the Sandworm, the Chainsaw Massacre, the Four Beatles of Apocalypse and the Tax Collector didn't scare Lydia a bit.
Beetlejuice hung his head in defeat. "Here, take the book. Maybe you come up with something viable dieable."
"An interesting problem you gave me", Prudence pondered. And you need that for..." "Writing a Goth novel", Lydia quickly interjected. "Uhm, and it's about a ghost who has to kill a human..." "...with magic disallowed, yes. And no scaring to death because..." "that would be hackneyed. Let's see. One could die laughing. Or maybe the ghost could chase him until he gets a heart attack. Or maybe driving one mad until one jumps out of the window. Speaking of scaring to death, I've heard that there is a new horror movie out in our local cinema. Some ultra-brutale Japanese stuff, whatsname, Urothingamajig, look for yourself, I'm not into such yucky splatter, but I know you love horror films. Well, maybe some distraction is the best medicine against your writers block."
The movie turned out to be very inspiring, indeed. Lydia now knew the right way to die abiding the Neitherworld laws...
"You want me to do what?" Ginger reddened. "Hmmmm...normally,
I'm not into lesbianism...you are sure that this will work?"
"I'm dying to find out!"
Not the utmost convinced, Ginger tied up Lydia and stripped her naked. Lydia shuddered when she felt Gingers little feet tap-dancing on her bare skin. Then Ginger began to lick her clit. Lydia squirmed in her bonds. "Oh Ginger...(pant, Moan)...Eat my pussy...(Whimper) Eat me alive!" [Cliched dialog courtesy of Kthanid - look under Saturday Morning TV:Beetlejuice - The Idle Author]
Lydia overflew with love juices and Ginger sucked her dry. "OOOH! AAAAH! YES! DO THE 'ALBERICH'!" "The what ?" "Like OOOH! placing your breed AAAH! in my womb MMMMH! which devours me YES! YES! YES! from the inside!"
"Brrrr, your fantasies scare me to death! Look for another guy for mercy-killing!" Ginger, slightly green in the face, left the exhausted, but still very alive Lydia hanging tied in her net.
"Yee-haw! What in barehooters...eh...tarhooties happened here?"
The Monster Across the Street had stumbled in. Lydia explained her
little problem to him. "You wanna ride? You get the ride of your life!"
An erection crawled outside his fur that was bigger than Lydia herself.
Desperately, Lydia engulfed him and began to rodeo on his member.
[toons are amazingly stretchable - ladies, don't try stunts like this
at home - Ye Author]
"OOOH! AAAH! Impale my heart with your boner like a vampire!" The Monster gave a thrust that send his dick piercing through Lydias whole body until it reemerged through her mouth. "MMMHHH!" Unluckily (or luckily) for Lydia, by Neitherworld rules (see above) even this unusual treatment couldn't hurt, let alone kill her, it just sent her reeling in another orgasm. Really unluckily, for the Monster, the Monstress just dropped in.
We skip the following scene for extreme cruelty to Furries. Owww, that must have hurt.
"Amateurs! Nothing than bloody amateurs! Next time ask the Big B
first!" Beetlejuice immediately understood what Lydia was up to and
already drooled. "Let me introduce - the Beetlinju!"
The sight of black-and-white striped penis tentacles first made Lydia laugh her ass off. Well, a second later she was squealing with lust. (Magic. 99 of 100 women recommend.) Orgasm after orgasm ravaged her, but she was still alive. "This girl grunt has more stamina than Barbarella," murmured Beetlejuice. "Now what did you say about that 'Alberich' rhalovely?" "MMMH! AAAH! OOOH!" Lydia went over the edge when Beetlejuice ejaculated a load of bugs into her womb which quickly gnawed her into a skeleton. Just when they munched up her brain, with a last megagasm Lydia died from total exasperation and instantly became a ghost.
P.S. If it consoles you, there were no grieving parents - they were too stupid to recognize the difference.
"And the winner of this years Halloween pageant is Lydia Deetz with
her 'Giant Cunt of Terror!' Applause!" "Boo! Boo!" "Beetlejuice,
don't be a sore loser!" "Boo! Boo!" "Shaddap or else!"
Slurp! went Lydia, and Beetlejuice was womb-grounded. She didn't let him out until he promised to behave. Took some time...