Authors Note: The important part the science team left out. :-)
A really long calendar would have shown a date of around
200 million years A.D., and Pangäa was one again.
Strange creatures roamed the earth. Ten meter calamaris walking on their tentacles. Overgrown slime molds. Five Homo sapiens.
Oops, weren't them dudes extinct?
Technically, yes. Mankind was extinct, but since one very sapient sapiens had had invented the time machine some 200 million years ago, give or take a minute, they ran around even after their extinction.
Time paradoxa. Each household should have one.
Selfsame five humans heard on the names Dana, Jana, Lana, Nana and 239 and were here to do some science.
239 also was here to have some free sex (the utterly creative name will have told you long before that he's a male and the others females) as males always want sex but as cruel fate had it, Lana and Nana was a lesbian pair, Dana happily married (239 claimed her husband was dead since 200 million years, but the argument didn't convince her) and Jana pleaded headache.
239 sighed and thought he could as well then do some science.
The flower looked very interesting.
To be precise, it looked pleasingly cunt-like. 239, for being a man, was very cautious. He first penetrated it slowly with a finger, just to confirm that it wasn't the top of a penis flytrap that wanted to take a chomp out of the careless fauna. But there was no hidden subterranian part, no teeth. Just a moist orifice that contracted invitingly. 239 rammed his dick into the opening. The pseudo-vagina throbbed around him, and a minute later his cum went gushing out.
He better should have thought about the things that might come in.
Tiny protozoans came a-wandering up his urethra and into his balls.
A day later the protozoans, which constituted some strange kind of collective
intelligence without brain, had also wandered along the spine (anatomy experts:
as every wanker knows, the spine directly connects to the balls) into his
brain and reprogrammed him into a sex maniac. The four girls of course didn't
notice much of a difference, and they couldn't see that in the meantime his balls
had swollen to grapefruit size. They weren't aware that before them walked a
zombie just having one thing in his taken-over mind: to procreate his parasite
with all means.
Because rape was also extinct since 200 million years (minus a bit of millenia for mankind to evolve a bit, ethic-wise).
Evil eyes waited for the right moment...
Jana was doing the evening shift, searching with her flashlight for night-active
species. Just as she bowed forward, a noose was thrown around her neck and
pulled tight. Jana tried to scream, but a fat swollen penis muffled her cries
and shot a wad of parasites into her throat. Quickly, they headed for her brain.
In a minute, it was over and she lost control, stopped fighting, ripped off her
clothes and impaled herself on 239s member. Balls which were now of
watermelon size pumped goo into her uterus.
Dana was in the shower. Her assailment came in form of a sack over her head and arms. Her pedalling was useless, 239 fucked her from behind and Dana got her fill too. Then 239 cut a slit into the sack where Danas nose was and squirted more parasites up her nostrils. Again, it didn't take long for the parasites to mindwash her.
"Did slurp you hear that AAAAAH! too?" Lana asked. "Shut up slurp and keep licking OOOOH! my clit!" Nana retorted. Both were 69ing on the bed, hands grasped around the breasts of the partner. But suddenly, they were 239ing as a sheet was thrown over them, and a quick rolling manouvre left them helplessly mummyfied like Cleopatra in the rug 200 million years before, only heads and legs sticking outside. Lana got her zombification shot into the ear and Nana into her eyes. (All roads lead to Trantor, like Asimov said.) In the remaining clear time they had, they screamed along as 239 impregnated Lana and Nana alternatingly.
In a quiet cave, Dana, Jana, Lana and Nana were hanging in a goo
cocon which had sucked itself firmly to their erogenous zones. Their bellies
were swollen as their bodies nurtured the protozoan colony that made itself
a home in their wombs. Quietly, their were moaning in an eternal orgasm.
Being nice as a parasite is evolutionary advantageous.
Because if you keep on killing your hosts, one day there are none.
Keep them orgasming instead and maybe they come back.
Dana, Jana, Lana and Nana were on the brink of bursting now and slimmed down to Twiggy proportions. The parasite collectively decided here was nothing more to gain. A part of it went out a-hunting, found a megasquid and planted thoughts of tentacle-sex into his brain.
With erect tentacles, the megasquid came a-squishing into the cave.
Eight amorous tentacles leashed out for Dana, Jana, Lana and Nana.
And 239. (The brain of the megasquid wasn't that big.)
Unisono, the birth process began. A mass of protozoans left the humans and dripped into the mouth of the stupid octopus to use him as next host.
Their minds were free again now.
Although, that moment of being joyfully sucked by a ten meter calamari was maybe choosen a bit unfortunately.
Dana, Jana, Lana and Nana decided to have another orgasm and then faint out. 239 couldn't be reached for a comment.
The ad said: "Dissatisfied with your figure? Try the Pangäa Diet!
Call 555-0123456789 for Ana Company Ltd!"
Well, maybe some protozoa hadn't managed the jump.
Well, maybe that's why mankind eventually got extinct - too busy orgasming.
Well, it would beat a killer asteroid or nuclear war anytime.