Operation Dessert Storms

I was going through the R'lyeh Daily when my ten eyes spotted some strange thing appearing in the Personal section.
"Love-starved Kirsten looks for some demon, alien, mutant, creature, invisible, dead, beast, slime or worm (anything but human). Ravish me quick! You can find me under..." and then some overlong Earthian address followed.
I scratched my head with a tentacle. Surely I qualified. Oh, did I forgot to introduce me? Inju Inju, sexdemon at large. Surname Inju, species name Inju, makes Inju Inju, easy to remember. Whaddayamean, who gave me that silly name? Now tell that to my mother personally, she always likes visitors, especially with curry. But I digress.
It was a very uncommon behavior for an Earth woman. Earth women were supposed to scream in terror first and in lust later. It would be only half the fun when she was already willing. Hey, I have to be evil you know, union rules.
Well, bugger a hedgehog, I said to myself, I haven't had a woman in the last millennium and could as well fulfil her plea. I should have made a second thought that I wouldn't be the only one with that idea. But my mother always said my brain wasn't my biggest body part.

I materialized on the Earth plane. I didn't take the time to locate her address exactly, but that turned out to be a sort of advantage. The town seemed to be completely left, except that on the horizon I noted a stampede of fleeing humans. Had I been avised?
Not at all. Around the corner there was a ruckus going on. Quite in amusement, I noticed that before Kirstens house a demon was clobbering an alien, just to get mauled by a mutant. A creature tried to sneak behind them and tripped over an invisible man who had the same idea. A dead was trying to collect his body parts, just to always getting ripped by a beast. A slime was crawling up the drains and got lost in the canalisation. Nobody had made it further than to the front door, because everybody wanted to be the first one.
The early worm gets the bird, I though, and had a flash of ingenuity. I tiptoed on my tentacles to the backdoor which was conveniently unlocked, and found Kirsten asleep in the bedroom. She must have gotten tired from waiting. What a sweet angel she was, lying naked on the bed with her thighs opened invitingly.

Immediately I was over her. My tentacles curled around her legs. Then I open my maw and produced a many-forked tongue which began to caress her clit. Kirsten began to writhe and moan in her sleep. I sent another tentacle crawling up her vagina and drank her love-juices.
"MMMMH! OOOOH!" She was quickly approaching her orgasm. I squirmed my tentacles and stimulated her G-spot. "AAAAAA!" With a cry that was even louder than the still ongoing fight outside, Kirsten came and awoke instantly.
She stared at me in disbelief. "Why you MMMM little OOOH..." I brought her to another orgasm before she could grab me, and before she could loosen my grip and get my swollen tentacle out of her vagina she even had a multiple orgasm that threw her flat on the bed, but sordidly she still wasn't weakened enough. She yanked me at my pseudo-penis and held me upside down in front of her head.
"You call that a rape?" "Hey, do you have some grudge against the vertically-challenged?" "When I called for a monster, I though of something with three meter tentacles, a mouth that could swallow a whole fridge...and not a half-pint imp like you!" She opened the front door. The fight had died down to a state where all were dead, except the dead who was double-dead. "Now fuck off!" A kick sent me at escape velocity, and I quickly made a retreat to my astral plane.

It took three weeks to get my bruised body back to shape. I never heard of Kirsten again. I wonder if she found true love since?

The End