"Tweep brz schnárk!" ("Bug activities in the sewers", reported the
"This smells like a trap", grumbled Kay.
"Of course it's a trap!" retorted Jay. "It's always a trap! Let's just shoot them little stinkers up like every time!" He made the noise of a flushing loo.
"Jay, Kay, get our best men together and investigate! Judging by the ruckus on our sensors, this is nothing short of an invasion!" Quoth Zed and went back into his office, pondering about the diplomatic finesses of the upcoming alien attache meeting. He hadn't the slightest doubts that they would save the world as always.
"Bah, poo gas..." "This is Freakazoids line, Jay, not yours, and now be quiet,
just behind that door..." "...it sounds as a Heavy Metal band which surely
won't hear us, they must be deaf by now..." "Chaaaarge!"
The MIB team blasted through the door. Was it a doomsday device? Was it the invasion army?
No, it were four bugs playing Heavy Metal.
"The Beetles, I assume?" Jay asked. "No, we are the Decoys. Neener, neener!" The bugs attacked and were toast in no time.
"Kay to Headquarter! We've been tricked!" "We know! Elle has been kidnapped from her lab..."
"What has happened?" "Meep blúb!" "I told you it was a trap!" "The twins have a new untested reversal-timeview gadget..." "Then what are you waiting for? Go to her lab and check it out!" Everybody tried to talk at the same time.
Jay and Kay were watching the 'video' of the passed kidnapping scene.
The quality was lousy, but considering the device bent the laws of nature
in rather unnatural ways, it was acceptable.
"...visitor...brrzt Professor Cucaraja krk..." "Ah, what a heinous trick! The name is so obviously faked that noone will think that a trap can be that stupid..." "Cuca...D'oh, Kay!" "...on the other hand, Mr. Jay Simpson..."
Through the flimmering they saw how that 'Professor Cucaraja' threw off his mask, 'slimed' Elle into a helpless bundle and carried her away to his mini-spaceship. "...the Queen...prffz...vengeance on you..."
"Blbl tíctac!" "The twins say they went off two hours ago." "No chance we can reach or even find them. Poor Elle." "Kay, I don't expect pessimism from you!" thundered Zed. "We get after them, even if we have to start an intergalactic war! This time they went too far!"
Later, Cockroach Mothership...
"So, what have we here?" "A rhetorical question, Your Uglyness!" "Ah, still being snippy, Elle? You will soon whine for your life! Now, let's see, what torture can be appropiate for an earthling...mmmh, correction, an earthling woman!" "No! You won't dare..." "Oh, but I am the Queen, I may dare anything! And I know the perfect companion for you! Elle...meet Ellyen!" "Ell-what?" "A-li-en, you stupid bitch!" "Why, you all are aliens..." "Not an alien! The Alien!"
Elle naturally still didn't get it. "Baaaaaah! So classified that even you don't know? That spoils the whole fun! So I have to explain to you. A real beauty, with acid blood and sharp teeth and a very nasty habit of procreation..." "No!" "...well, the birth will be a bit messy..." "Nooooo!" "Undress her and throw her into the energy cage!"
Elle was waiting in horror. There, an energy wall popped open...
"Aaargh!" A creature from the blackest nightmares entered. The double maw dripped saliva. A claw snipped open. Elle screamed and pressed herself into an edge of the cage. The creature grabbed her. She struggled, but her arms and legs were mercilessly spreaded. Then something snapped shut on the creatures back, something on the front sucked her breast into an indention capturing her nipples, and she was caught helplessly in an obscene mock of a hug.
Something pressed against her ear. "Buggg Common Fooooooe." Elle stopped her screaming for some lightning thoughts. What did that mean? From the unappetizing descriptions of the Queen this was a parasitic species...of course! Since when has a predator a grudge against his prey - but he and the bugs - they were both species with a r-strategy - producing as much offspring as possible and don't care what happens to it - so they were natural competition. Besides that, getting caught by those half-witted bugsters must have been insulting for the ego of such a super-monster.
Elle started screaming again, this time in a pitch any human could have known as fake. She hoped that the stupid bugs, who were watching interestedly outside the cage, wouldn't recognize. And then she gasped in surprise. Something was rubbing against her clitoris. It felt...ooooh...why should the creature bother for her feelings unless....mmmmh...it was sign to her...that he wanted to cooperate against the Bugs...aaaaah...whatever the plan was...
Now she didn't fake screaming again. Her wet labia opened like a flower, and then a big knotty ovipositor forced itself into her vagina. Elle squirmed and squealed in lust.
"I'm dying! I'm dying!" "That's the whole idea, whore!" commented the Bug Queen. Elle thought "Bad for you egg-laying mother...oooo...when you don't know...aaaa...how it feels to get laid yourself", her body going limp in the clutches of the approaching orgasm. Another knot began to pulsate in her ass, and the extendable maw of the creature entered her mouth for a tongue-tangle, cutting off her screams. Barely she felt that her cervix was pried open, and something came up a-crawling into her womb, stretching her to her limits. The sensation was too much. A multiple orgasm ravaged her, until she fainted out.
"Oh, what a splendid 12 months pregnancy! Did your baby kick you? How
nasty of him!" The Queen mocked at her, and Elle was still wondering what the
bloody plan was. She was still in the same energy cage, the Alien in another
cage beside her with the common wall in function again, and the creatures
growing inside her were caught as much as her. So what...Uuuuh!
A short wave of labour forced her down. Then she felt her body becoming
totally numb. It surely was better for her, because a claw ripped open her
womb and her belly like it had a zipper. Blood fountains came gushing out.
Three alien babies left the mess. The last one...well, noone could recognize
inside that gore what it did when leaving. The Queen didn't care anyway.
"OK, Phasers on Well Done! We don't want this little crawlers to go
somewhere, do we?" Bug soldiers fired through the energy wall. The little
aliens were fast, but they couldn't outrun the speed of light. Soon they were
"Now don't hide...Shoo!" A fourth alien glid out of Elles vagina and jumped against the cage where he was grilled by the bug crossfire. The Queen held up a bioscanner. "No more crawlers left over. Now leave me alone with her, I have some 'mourning' to do. Ha Ha Ha!" She pushed a button on another remote, and the energy walls of Elles cage vanished. "Now isn't that a gruesome sight! I didn't know that there is soooo much blood inside a human...uld!"
The following happened in a split second. The 'corpse' reached out for the remote and pushed the other button, the walls around the Alien collapsed, and he instantly jumped on the Bug Queen. In claw-to-claw (or whatever) combat she didn't stand a chance. A stun poison quickly rendered her helpless.
"Yes, about five liters...pant...and you sure lose something even in a perfect Caesarian...wheeze...but it looks much messier to the layman than it is...huff... and Alien saliva instantly cauterized the wounds." Elle was a bit weak from the 'birth', the loss of blood and the 'valium' the little Aliens injected into her, but she would soon recover.
The Alien started to 'hug' Elle again. Maybe he just wanted to kiss her goodbye, maybe he was the betraying type and didn't want to waste a good host. She never knew, because in the same moment the MIB rescue team came a-blasting through another door. Seeing the naked, blood-covered Elle in that situation and pulling the trigger happened to be one thought. The Alien exploded to little pieces.
"Quick, carry her to the ship and then scram Exit Left!" That was a very good idea, because even the most stupid bugs had begun to wonder why her Queen was so quiet today, not commanding them around every second minute, and stormed in through Exit Right. They came too late to see more than Jays ass who escaped in a full-throttle zig-zag flight to cover selfsame bodypart. With their High Command out of order, the bugs were too confused to follow them.
"...and then Kay used his superior logic sector to deduce you would have
been brought to the Bug Mothership, and to find it we only would have to
locate the universe's center of collateral damage..." "Pffft oy vey!"
"The twins say you will keep a big scar which can be removed by
alien cosmetic technology, but otherwise no permanent..." "I can't hear the
word Alien any more! And I'll go directly to bed now!" Elle slammed the
door of her chamber, but she didn't get much sleep, because pleasant dreams
of tentacled aliens caressing her kept waking her with orgasm after orgasm.
One might say they lived happily ever after.
Except the Bug Queen, which received what she had dealt out for Elle: being eaten alive slowly from the inside by the Alien offspring. Fairytale justice, eh?