Dunno if you have ever seen a "Paternoster". It's a special kind of open lift, with cabins going round like a Ferris wheel. Including an eerie transport through the cellar darkness if you miss the last exit (voluntarily or not). Some clean and harmless fun for a youth that is long past. (Todays pastimes are hanging at the outside of a commuter train door or suchlike.) Even in Germany, the Paternoster is as extinct as the youth, due to bureaucratic security concerns. Well, our local IRS dependance still got one. Like I said, eerie... But then, hanging at the outside of a commuter train door may be much less dangerous...

The local pack just partied through Valeries 18th birthday and was a bit squiffy (the girls) or rat-assed (the boys), respectively. Nobody knew afterwards who had the idea with the chicken game first, but peer pressure did the rest. "OK, hand over a paperclip!" "More light, dummy!" "Isn't the full moon bright enough?" "Yup, but keep under cover so that Armstrong won't spot us!" "Duuude, will he need a large telescope!" "Try this!" The key glid into the lock without a sound. "Now who knows it best? Nicked from the gov!" (His father was a CEO of the IRS or something like that.)
Jen was the first who jumped into the Paternoster. He was very sportive and did a handstand when he rode upwards from the cellar again. A very wobbly one with many promilles, but it impressed the squealing girls.
"Now you, Walter!" Another ape-man produced himself. "Valerie, you're it!" "I'm...afraid!" she answered with a fake tremolo. But she wasn't stupid. The joke with the upside-down cabin was probably as old as the Paternoster itself. So she went in...but what she didn't foresaw was Walter hitting the emergency button, capturing her in the cellar. "Cut that out, nitwit!" her dampened voice came from below. "The Triffids will come and get you-hu-hu!" was the answer from above. "Now rev up that dingbat again", Jen grumbled.
The dingbat was on strike. Destruction is always easier. And then a well known sound wailed in the far distance. "Scram! The pigs! When they catch us red-handed, it's ten years in Walla-Walla!" The clueless youth scattered. "Hey, you can't leave me alone here! Help! Heeeeelp!"

"Bastards! Fascists! When I'll get out tomorrow, I'll ratfink your asses!" Valerie clamored. Then she sat down into a corner of the cabin, pouting.
Wait! Wasn't there a noise? "I'm heeeere! Get me out!" No, the noise came from...below? And then she could sense a presence...her hand fumbled through the pitch-black cabin...and collided with something slimy! "Yikes!" screamed Valerie.
"Yikes!" screamed the tentacle, or better, his owner. Valerie leashed out in the direction of the scream and tried to catch the screamer at his coattail. But as tentaclemonsters rarely wear coattails, this round ended as a stalemate. Both opponents squeezed into opposite corners, and the monster stammered: "You don't hurt me, I don't hurt you!"
"OK, this jest has turned sour by now. The boys paid you for this little horror show, right?" Valerie growled. She couldn't stand jokers with plastic tentacles. "Yes, yes," the monster floundered. "I got 1800 today..." ("Happy Birthday to you", Valerie answered mechanically) and of legal age by that. And now I have to..." The monster stopped. "What?" "I'm afraid to say. Will you clobber me?" "Bombs away! Now!" "...rape you." "Of all the nerve..." Valerie swore. She still thought that this was a trick that went to far.
The monster started to sob.
"All my elder brothers bring me up because I don't like Japanese comics. They say, if I don't coil my tentacles around an earthling babe, I never become a man. But that's so...pervert!" Valerie could only nod. "But I only love Inja with the delicate green skin and the bowl-sized suction cups! But my brothers say if I woo her...als a male virgin...and my tentacles are much too short..." Valerie, in the mean time, produced a lighter from her jeans and switched it on. Over the way sat either the worst FX since Dracula vs. Frankenstein...or a life-size monster. She decided to take the strange reality as granted, and sighed. Boys were so stooopid...independent of the species. Somehow, she pitied him. "You, eh..." "Inji. I'm Inji." "Inji, just gimme five, with that tentacles." Hesitatingly, the monster did. "Well, I don't think that they are too short..." "Really?" "And anyway, it isn't the size, it's what you do with them..." "Ripping the clothes off? Bondage?" "No, you nincompoop! Your brothers were talking crap all time! If you like to impress Inja, how about caressing? Gently suckling! Hey, could you help me unlinking my bra..." Valerie dropped her sweatshirt, and Inji unpacked her goodies, showing confusion in all of his ten eyes. "What is it /now/?" "Well, don't all Earthling woman have melons, bigger than..." "Short version: NO!" Inji very carefully spiraled a tentacle around a wart. "You, eh..." "Valerie." "Valerie, why don't you writhe in extacy?" "Ooh, someone call 555-PEST-EX on your stupid brothers! Do you still believe street wisdom? I think it's time for a radical demonstration." She undressed completely. "So, you know what this is?" "I'm not /totally/ inept, we had this on monster school", an offended Inji griped. "Clit. Treat with utmost care or the victim dies from multiple orgasm." "Now where did you get THAT one? Barbarella? C'mon, try your best. I'll intonate Joan Baez in the meantime to prove you that women are no robots with built-in lust buttons!" "We shall overcommmmme, we shall ooooovercome some day Oh deep in my heart...yes, deeper, deeper, I do believe We sha-a-a-ll overcome some dayyyyyyy!"
Valerie did a last scream of extacy, rolled her eyes and went limp.
"Valerie? Valerie, say something! Oh shit, just as I grew accustomed to her! I /did/ warn her, right? Earthlings go to pieces at the slightest strain..."

NEWS AT ELEVEN! In the lift of the LA IRS building the corpse of the eighteen year old Valerie D. was found. The LAPD already busted the notorious hippies Jen S. and Walter U. who obdurately lie that they have anything to do with the case. Fry them commie bastards! (Exclusive footage p.2)

"Where am I? What's happening to me? Aaargh!" "In brevis: astral plane, dead, you'll inure. May I introduce myself - Inma, father of Inji." Valerie made eyes at the strange body opposite her and neither couldn't familiarize with his long white beard which looked out of place at a tentacle monster, nor could decide /which/ of her thirty eyes she should throw at him. In lack of understanding, she made a pun: "Shouldn't you be Inpa, then?" "Please no name jokes", said Inma, and raised the brow of the third eye in slight indignation. "The Inma are a dignified ancient monster family, and you should be honored to hear that my son hereby makes a formal proposal of marriage. Didn't have the guts to come himself, the sissy." Valerie scratched her head with a tentacle. "This all comes as a total surprise..." "As I said, you'll adapt yourself. I didn't write the cosmic laws that say any Earthling woman dying from a super orgasm during sex with a tentaclemonster, becomes one herself. Something with orgon energy, look it up in the Necronomicon. Or whereever. Not my problem, already feared the wimp would turn out to be a poofter, this way he gets his girl after all. Just see all the advantages of being a tentaclemonster. Right, Inanna?" Inma screamed across the ecliptic. "Oh yessssss!" an exasperated voice moaned from somewhere. "Come baaack, Tentakins!" "So make up your mind fast, if my wife doesn't get her hundred orgasms a day, she gets uneven!" "Snookums!" "Yeah, yeah."
Well, I should add that Valerie accepted after a long thought and Inji made her a proud Mother of a Thousand Young Ones, but slowly the plot gets totally hokum and it's better

The End