"And heeeere is another issue of..."
[Cheering studio crowd]
[Zoom on the anchorman]
"I'm as always your moderator B. Little and you are watching another episode of shocking human interest stories. Our todays guest is Mr. Inju, the innocent victim of a severe sexual harrasment case. To protect his identity, he will talk from behind this smokescreen."
[Camera 1 on Mr. Inju. Through the screen, you can see a mass of writhing tentacles.]
"Please, Mr. Inju, tell your story now."
"Well, uhm. I'm a member of a minority the public usually calls tentaclemonster. We prefer the more p.c. term Inju." "Which means more or less the same in Japanese, right?" [The hard-hitting yet sensible moderator uses every opportunity to interrupt. Mr. Inju is slightly annoyed.]
"P.c. isn't about meanings, p.c. is about words. May I continue?" "Oh, sure." "In thousands of run-of-the-mill hentai flicks, our kind is portraited as ruthless rapers of hapless women. We admit that we have some black sheep in our rows, but then, who hasn't?"
"So I guess your latest bruises..." [Camera 2 shows the line of oozy green blood Mr. Inju left when entering the studio] "...are from a mob of revengeful fathers and husbands?" "If it were so! No, selfsame hentai flicks invariably continue that selfsame girls enjoy their ordeal in a series of endless super orgasms! And while I also admit that the average Inju would in principle a much better sex partner than the average Joe Blow, only a minor percentage of our population is, ah what's the word, humanophil-oriented."
"Oh, so then your wounds come from exasperation due to a female groupie crowd and you are only human after all..." [The moderator grins and turns to the studio crowd showing off over his great pun. He should have watched his steps instead and trips over a cable. In a chain reaction, a camera topples over, taking the smoke screen with it. At the sight of Mr. Injus lovemaking appendices, the whole female part of the studio crowd storms over to Mr. Inju, rip of their clothes and begins to rape him. A fight over his available tentacles ensues.]
"No, you still got it wrong!" [Mr. Inju raises his voice to over-cry the MMMH OOOH AAAAH squeals that immediately have begun]. "I'm an Inju! I could please hundreds of women if I'm in good condition. But I'm a married monster! Try telling that I'm innocent to Mrs. Injuette!!"
[A very pissed female version of Mr. Inju, but easily to distiguish from him due to a dozen hungry cunts, storms the studio, crying "Gotcha fornicating around again? Wait until I get my tentacles on you!" She grabs a few cameras and mauls Mr. Inju severely. The groupies flee. The moderator too, crying in his mike "That was todays airing of..." "VICTIM!" "MMMH OOOH AAAAH!" "...feel free to watch next week too, when our theme...Please, not the halogen lamp!" CRASH! "oh, that must have hurt...is My husband is an unfaithful casanova! This is B. Little, over and OUCH!"