Spy vs Spy: An Epitaph for .--. .-. --- .... .. .- ...

Panel 1
"51 bottles of beer in the fridge, 51 bottles of beer in the fridge, gulp one down, pass it around, 50 bottles of beer in the fridge..." Two strange guys were partying in an abandoned warehouse. They could have went for twins, both having extremely pointed noses, and clothing that must have been bought at Hardboiled Cliche Store, outfit complete with fedora and trenchcoat...but one was wearing snow white and the other pitch black. Everywhere gratituous signs were shouting "SECRET!", "UNITED BLACK&WHITE HIDEOUT - BUG OFF!", "DANGER!" to ward off the unwarranted.

Panel 2
"How many time...up...did I kill you before, partner?" the Black Spy prattled. "Exactly...hic...239 times, buddy," the White Spy retorted. "But thanks to popopolitics, we're united now. 50 bottles of beer..." "50 bottles of...Hey! The fridge is empty! Weren't that 100 bottles to start with?" "Must be double...hic...vision!" laughed the White Spy. "Nevermind", whispered the Black Spy. "I have here the right thing to party on." From his trenchcoat, the Black Spy produced a videotape. The spine said "Inju Han'you - 18+ Only - And we mean it!".

Panel 3
The VCR ate the tape with an obscene sound and began to play your usual hentai movie. "Whoa, babe, show your tits!" "Oh no, look out, there's a monster behind you!" "Go, monster, go! Go, monster, go!", Black and White Spy shouted unisono. Then tentacles leashed out after the victim and began their standard rapework. Ten seconds later, the babe squealed its vocal chords out in multiple orgasm. As I said, your usual hentai movie.
A thought blurb ascended from the head of the White Spy, and he mentally inserted the Grey Spyess into the clutches of the tentacle monster. He laughed a fiendish laughter. "Hey partner, you have an evil...up...masterplan!" the Black Spy nagged. "I can see it at the tip of your nose! Don't let the tension kill me! Shoot!"

Panel 4
In earlier times, this would have been the equivalent of a chip pass in soccer. But instead of scoring goal #240, the White Spy explained the master plan to his colleague. Then the Black Spy laughed fiendishly too. "The bitch deserves it! Royally!" From his trenchcoat, he produced an order blank (ACME Spy Hellish Contraptions Formular B5), and with the help of a japanese dictionary and a lot of swearing, they mail-ordered an Inju from Monsters Inc. (Nippon Subsidiary).

Panel 5
A supersonic boom shook the foundations of the United Black&White Hideout. The spies ducked under the table when several loose parts of the ceiling fell down. Then a woman dressed in mail uniform descended on her broom, adjusted the fit of her witch hat (which looked conspicuously like a vertical spy-nose) and untied a monstrously large parcel. "Kikis Delivery Service. Am I right at Black&White Warehouses Ltd.? OK, I need a signature here and here. Have fun with your Inju!"

Panel 6
Stray tentacles were poking out everywhere through the package. Quickly, White Spy and Black Spy ripped open the cardboard and pulled the monster out. It was a real showpiece of an Inju, with twenty tentacles, thirty eyes, a badge "Stonewall 2003" and a pink tie...
Stonewall? Pink tie?
White Spy and Black Spy looked at each other and then scattered in three different directions. They made headway of about a few meters before the tentacles captured them and buggered them to kingdome come.
By the way, they did not orgasm after ten seconds.
Outside, the witch took off her hat, revealing herself as the Grey Spyess, and laughed her ass off.
Ah, she always wins. Spy vs Spy is so sexist.

The End