Author's Note: SU2 is pure trash. If you unplug your
Doubtful Ideology Detector, you might, might
even enjoy its sillyness. This fanfic is a quiet
protest against the cryptofascist acquaintance with
other sentient lifeforms which are always either
derided or deflagrated.
Oh, and it's your usual tentacle porn, of course.
"Benson! O'Malley!!" Captain Page's usual
duty roar clang through the rooms of
Special Unit 2.
"Here I am. What can I kill this time?" Nick asked smugly.
"Can't you think of anything else?" sighed Kate.
"Not if I can avoid."
"Cut your chit-chat out, there is work to do. A big Japanese delegation is coming to the Chicago Anime Con and Carl had heard rumors that one of them is an Inju in disguise."
"A what?" "A what?"
Carl suddenly appeared below them. "An Inju. Guy with more tentacles than our house cleaner."
"May I explain?" Sean Radmon joined the fray. (Or was that Jonathan? All them geeks are so alike.) "The Inju is a link that rapes women and feeds on their sexual energy. If I may play this Anime videotape from our local store which gives a pretty detailed..." He conjured an Urotsukidoji Perfect Collection from his lab coat.
"No!" shouted Kate.
"Yes!" shouted Nick.
"Human mating rituals are so fascinating..." commented the gnome.
"Shut up all of you! Sean, you surely have some scientific experiments running that need attending! And you, find the Inju! As he doesn't kill his victims like the run-of-the-mill link, we elsewise have a hell of explaining away to do, and we don't have M.I.B. mindzappers in our arsenal yet! Vamoose!"
O'Malley was driving in his usual Multiple Traffic
Rules Violation style.
"One tacky comment, and..." Kate growled.
"And how shall we find this tentacled bugger? Show him some Penthouse mags?"
"Yeah, Sean is on the research, the Captain says. Probably scanning through a load of hentai videos one handed..."
"Carl, here is a riddle for you. How do you call a monster with 144 penises?"
"Bugs me. Have you noticed your partner is already talking in cursive?"
"And the answer is: Gross. Personally, I'd say tentacles would definitely make my love life more interesting..."
"Carl, do me a favor and clobber Nick."
"Ay Ay, Ma'm!"
The car swerved and two dustbins bit the dust.
Astoundingly, they made it to the Con in one part.
Kate preferred to stay outside. "Afraid of the Inju?"
"Bah, I'd ram him my gun between his tentacles if
he wants to get fresh!" Kate answered snippishly.
"But all the yucky fanboys..." She shuddered.
Nick shoved himself through the crowd and muttered "Oh god, look at this bunch of no-life geeks! Must be a paradise for Sean", looking for something with more appendages than allowed.
"Anime is a form of art." Sean sulked and jostled through from behind. "I have at least a bit of news - the Inju has to recharge his energy eventually in certain intervals." "What time period, dummy? Days? Weeks?" "I'm still working on that..." "Then work!"
Nicks cellular beeped. "Kate here. Carls excellent ears heard something he described as 'sexual utterances'. Somewhere from a broom closet of the hotel or the like. I come through the postern." "OK, I'm on my way! Let's roll!"
Two humans and a gnome were standing in front of a small
chamber. Muttered squeals filled the air.
"OK, on three! One, two..."
Benson and O'Malley crashed in. Three helpless women were squirming in multiple orgasms, enwrapped in the tentacles of a hideous monster.
"Ladies, get out of the way...eh...bugger!" "Nick, no, you might hit the victims!"
One could be envious of Nicks aim - he shot the monster full-front without giving the victims a scratch.
But the victims weren't exactly happy.
"Gaijin baka! OOOOH! I had the sex of my life!"
"You Yankees MMMMH have to shoot everything, right?"
"AAAAAH! You pay for that! I'm a Shinto priestess and know a certain spell..."
With just a wave of her hand, she transferred the Inju-ness. A ray of eldritch light flowed from the dead monster to Nick.
"Oh, I'm feeling so strange..."
"Nick! Fight it!"
And then Nick turned into a tentacle monster himself. Kate hesitated to open fire...until she was captured in the tentacles. She was ruefully only for a minute. After all, she did have a crush for Nick although she never would have admitted that.
One gnome and zero humans were standing in front of a small
chamber. Muttered squeals filled the air. Four helpless women
were squirming in multiple orgasms, enwrapped in the
tentacles of a hideous monster.
"Not that O'Malley has changed significantly... But I fear Captain Hook won't like to hear the news. Not a bit..."
Carl sighed and hotwired the car.