Now look at that Earth wimp. I took his [] deep into my throat and gave him
a good ultrasound vibration, and ka-donk, he immediately cums buckets and then
passes out. Ah, nevermind, you already gave to me what I needed.
I *drank* only blood, but other body fluids work too, as I found out.
Convenient since there are so many willing donors. Not that I have to rob
a blood bank or so to get my daily proteins. Or leave a trail of corpses
behind me. Hey, I'm not Dracula.
Oh, hello, Mr. Police. (My dumb luck again. The only dark alley with a patrol.)
There is really no need to point a gun at me, that guy is well (or at least
I hope so) and I'm a friendly monster girl that only bites in self-defense.
(Rats. Why don't I have hypno powers like Earth vampires?)
No, Mr. Police, you can't handcuff me since my wings ARE my hands. Try a
peek into Kardongs Comparative Anatomy, McGraw-Hill 2015, willya? Very
unpractical having to do everything with my feet instead especially as I
tend to keel over. You really should consider to adapt your daily life to
wingicapped people.
Ha, while I happily blabber about, the guy is moving again, see, told you so?
That was what Earth people call a distraction. I hope your hand is not broken,
shall Mommy blow a bit so the pain goes away? But I hate it when someone makes
holes in my pretty wings, I spend a fortune on mothballs.
There he runs in one direction and calls for backup. And lookie, Mr. Spermdonor
stands up and runs into the other. There he falls over his trousers and tries
anew. If a securitycam is present here somewhere, this is comedy gold for
"This Is Gonna Hurt". Speaking of hurt, better take that stray gun before someone
gets it. A girl needs a gun these days hey on account of all the rattlesnakes.
And me off in a third one. Say, in what quarter of this lousy human town
did I land?
Sounds vaguely hitech...Frankenstein Road/Moreau Drive...
"Abandoned Warehouse Inc."...
"ACME Corp."...
"Experimental Antigravity Devices - We give you a lift!"
Now that's either a hackneyed plot device or my first bout of good luck.
"Let's see what hides behind door A", to quote one of my Earth favorites.
Oh, hey, judging from the fact you don't run away screaming at my sight,
which is by the way considered beautiful by my own people, I guess you are the
Mr. Mysterious-And-Curious Owner. Ha. Not many working here anyway...
I'd like to purchase a prototype of your antigrav. I can pay with
a) a dime I found in the gutter, b) []card, c) a very tight []. Or rob
you blind with this...oh right, I threw it into the next mailbox. Too heavy.
Now that's funny, all Earth guys, at least those that didn't ran away in the
first place, always go for choice c. And beautiful or not, I don't even remotely
have an Earth girl face. Earth males sexual preferences would make an interesting
Master thesis for one of my female students. Anyway. Whoa, this must be a new
Earth record for undressing. Did they not teach you about proper foreplay...
oh right, not capable of ultrasound. Nevermind, stud. He impales my [] which
is dripping in anticipation. Oooh yes, stretch me like I'm giving birth.
I heard giving birth hurts like fuck here on Earth. Poor women, no wonder
they are so reluctant having sex. We [] residents enjoy it all the time. I wrap
Mr. Owner tightly into my leathery wings. His mouth sucks on my left teat.
Good that I'm sooo much taller, I doubt he wants to kiss me, monstergirl
fan or not. And my horseshoe snout is really, really a beauty. Shame.
He practically implores me to bite his neck when we enjoy a multiple []
together, strange fetishes those Earth guys do have. No, wait, of course only I
have a multiple [] as the female of the species. Life is so unfair.
I pull myself together and drink only one litre. That should be safe enough.
After he comes to his senses again he promise me to bring down the stars
from the sky for me. Guy, in this state I won't let you even climb a ladder!
Actually, as it is the case, his antigrav device is []ing working - unbelievable.
So I can do the star-fetching myself.
WHEEEEEE! Now that's much more fun than sagging mammaries. I fly a looping
around the chimneys donning the antigrav harness, and crown it with a perfect
three-point landing on the roof building. Always was good in aerobatics.
Then I reenter the facility as my scientifical fancy has been tickled.
Mr. Owner declares me Experimental Subject #1 and let me keep the device.
Then he introduces me to his staff...no, to his other staff. Which mainly
consists of Mrs. Loony Scientist who immediately wants to show me her theory
about wormhole locations. Sounds most fascinating, but actually she just
wants to vanish into the next broom closet with me and show me her wormhole.
I'm not that surprised, you'll never become a top scientist when you are
not prone to experiment, experiment, more experiment.
It astounds me to learn that while I look extremely different to an
Earthling, our [] are so similar. Mrs. Loony challenges me to a licking
duel. First to [] loses. Stupid move - my ultrasound abilities, remember?
After just a minute, she screams and passes out, infinite bliss written
on her face. (I'm meanwhile quite good in reading Earthling faces.)
Sorry, girl, that big fat spider in the edge is MINE! Ha, now I got you,
that's a completely different bat species, you biology loser!
She's a graceful loser either, and when she awakes again, she insists on
ending the job. I too scream (in ultrasound) and pass out being very
surprised. My last thoughts: Wow. Hadn't thought an Earth girl could do
that without ultrasound.
I awake being shackled to a desk and Mrs. Loony trying to suck me dry.
OK, my lovers always said I taste wonderful, but I hadn't thought that
Earthlings might share the taste. She torments me with her non-ultrasound
tongue which is deeply satisfying, but somehow I'm not made for bondage.
I rip the chains out, tie up Mrs. Loony and learn that she cheated -
she used a vibrator on me. Oh you little moth! My vengeance is swift
and deadly. After three orgasm blackouts in a row she throws in the
towel and begs for mercy.
After that, we exchange a few sick jokes about vampires and, eh, that
lunar days. Which were probably old even in Draculas time. Then we
dust ourselves off and go to the blackboard.
Well I'll be damned. Would you have expected that d/dx[ยง$%&?!?]=0...
This could be a breakthrough in interstellar travel. If now we are
lucky and u^3+I*v^3 happens to equal pi*w^3...Mr. Owner gets out
his cellular and orders a truck of special equipment.
(Good that he is filthy rich.) We saw and hammer all night
(OK, actually not me, I'm not that well equipped for DIY) and
in the morning, the "Stargate" is ready. We are not stupid.
First of all, we get to sleep. I make myself comfortable
hooking my foot claws into the ceiling. Sorry, you must take a
lab desk...Mr. Owner is out of luck since he doesn't have a
telephone number of a bed shop. OverspezzZZZZZ...
And second, we send a camera through. Then an animal. Then
our nightwatch. He reluctantly asks if all females on my
planet are as thirsty as me. Mr. Owner doubles his income.
On hour later, he staggers out of the Stargate, grins
"I cum in piece" and collapses on the spot. Some transfusions
(Mr. Owner ordered a whole tanker, just in case) help him up
again. Now isn't that an accident! He fell into the wings of
my three curious female students, and he had to satisfy them
all at the same time, without ultrasound or vibrator, the
poor sod. Or lucky sod. I'd recognize them anywhere from his
description of their wing patterns. I flutter through. Hooray!
Finally back on my own planet! Mrs. Loony follows me. I talked
Mr. Owner into also purchasing a tanker full of vibrators, for
opening good neighborly relationships between the planet. Earth
tech is a bit hick in comparison, but the vibrators incite an
unisono "YES! YEEEES!" Oh, here come my male students too!
Somehow they look depressed at the fact that they are no longer
the top species - []wise that is. Mrs. Loony tries to
console them and gives all three a blowjob - at the same
time. Ha, I can *hear* all Earth males think: "But isn't
that a bit...gay?" Entirely not our problem, folks,
entirely not our problem. Then my whole class repays
the favor on Mrs. Loony. She manages an ultrasound
orgasm scream! We call it a day, she probably wouldn't
survive another orgasm. Mr. Owner finally decides to
join us. The females play [] to decide who may feel
his [] first. The males look even sadder.
After that, we improvise a war room. The joyful first
contact can't hide that a major problem lurks here.
A billion [] with [] envy, meeting notoriously xenophobe
Earthlings having a classical nightmare.
A sure recipe for bad blood.
We all agree that it's the best to lie low first.
No mass visits, no informing the public. My best
student suggests a Hollywood SF blockbuster with an
alien vampire bat in the main role. Clever idea.
My second best student suggest an SF porn film with
an alien vampire bat in the main role. Even more clever
idea, but fails to FX costs. (Of course Mr. Owner could
finance it, but it would look highly suspicious.)
And then I have an idea that only can be termed
[] brilliant.
"The Moon!" I exclaim. "Vampires are associated with
the Moon since ages. We build a permanent Stargate
from our planet to Earths moon. Too far away and
inhospitable as that anyone could see it as a
reasonable military danger, but close enough to start
a small cultural exchange. And then we slowly build
on that."
Wouldn't actually bet on it, but might work. My
male students still pout. I give each of them a
blowjob. Now they pout happily. It's my brilliant
idea day today. Which actually will horribly backfire,
but hear for yourself..."Mr. Owner! Come here!" "Yes?"
"Explain to my students what a horse is."
"Huh? A horse is an animal. It eats plants and is
more or less tame. You can use it for work,
you can ride on his back to get from A to B.
Both is completely obsolete now, and we only use
them for fun." "Mr. Owner, didn't you forget a crucial
thing?" "Eh, like what?" "A horse has a [] that is 40 cm
long, give or take. Are you envious of a horse because
of that?" Mr. Owner blushes and denies that ostentatively.
Of course I, experienced watcher of humans, can see he is
a big fat liar. Of course my male students can't.
Victory!!!
That is, until my female students who totally
got the 40 cm [] into the wrong throat,
metaphorically speaking, begin to joyfully
discuss that the Earth women use horses for
sex fun and whether [] women are built for that
too, given that their [] are smaller but far
more stretchable...
My [], what have I done.
The End