A bit of exposition might be in order. My name won't say you anything, although I'm a supergenius. But a high IQ alone won't guarantee you anything. Not even a Nobel prize and eternal fame. Especially not a girlfriend in school, for sure. They prefer the Yahoos, and I don't mean the Yahoo CEOs.
I found the overall situation unsatisfying.
Well, and then I was training with the Misner/Thorne/Wheeler textbook to get a bit more arm muscles (for a bit more Yahooish appearance, since I currently look like a cross between Marty McFly and Longcat) when I had this brilliant idea for a time machine. (I'm a supergenius after all.) The greater plan was to visit the stone age, being worshipped as a god and fuck a few cavebabes, incidentally improving the overall intelligence in the gene pool considerably. Blame it on my juveline hormone rage. If I had had succeeded, I would have not only fucked a few cavebabes (probably no pretties anyway) but also the space-time-continuum, which I found out only much later. The space-time-continuum fucked back, though. And so when the time-machine halted in the year ERROR B.C. (what?) and as I departed, I saw...
That woman. She didn't bother to dress at all. Her breasts would have made a cow envious. (So, unless Kim Wilde had a boob job and went among the nudists, the similarity was uncanny but probably superficial.) Her hair was wheat blonde and decorated with flowers. And then she asked me: "How did you do that, mortal?" (In Greek. Which, as a supergenius, I speak fluently - for physics supergeniuity, it's not mandatory but quite nice to be able to read Aristotle in the original - but I translate for you.)
And then it dawned to me. Exclude the impossible, remain the improbable, yadda yadda. The time machine hadn't transported me to the stone age, but the mythical age. (Don't ask how; the universe avoided the alternative - obviously, this annulled the dreaded grandfather paradox.) And since I'm a supergenius also concerning cultural items, that woman could only be...
"Demeter?"
(Technically, the stress is on the first e, but luckily,
she was no pronounciation nazi.)
"The goddess of fertility I am indeed, mortal. And you...?"
"I'm a visitor of a future millennias away."
Demeter, quite the simple character, was happy like
a school girl and boisterous asked: "Oooh! The future!
Are the fields still green? Is Zeus still a horndog?
Who won the Trojan War?" "Well, the last one is an
easy one, Troja lost, but Zeus..." "Now spit it out,
I won't bite!" snickered Demeter.
Truer words never had been said - she was definitely the
nicest of all the Olympians, which had the default setting
of Total Asshat, and I silently called me lucky that I ran
into her first. Still I hesitated to bring the bad news.
"Well...how shall I formulate it...a new God has overthrown
Zeus. He hates all other Gods, he hates women, he commanded
everyone to multiply like rabbits..." "What's so bad
about the last one?" "Almost ten billions! Feeding them
alone is about to turn Earth into a wasteland in the
long run! And all the tricks Prometheus told us...mankind
is not ripe for the knowledge, it only speeds up the
decline! Hundred years more from where I started, and
probably no field is green anymore and Earth looks more
like the shop of Hephaistos!"
Demeter was very startled. She wondered: "The usurper...
it's surely a son of Zeus, as the prophecy warned?"
Her guess was logical, as the pattern already happened
twice with Uranos and Kronos.
"Oh no, he comes from the desert, where the sun burns
away any sanity." "Mortal, the Olymp will be most
thankful for your warning. And I already can see how
*I* can thank you..." Demeter smiled. She referred to
the stiffie I sported in my trousers. You would too
get a hard-on if you are young and with a naked goddess
in front of your nose. "We better go into your strange
machine, Zeus doesn't like it when I enjoy a mortal...
he's such a hypocrite..." she whispered. Obviously she
referred to poor grilled Iasion. She dragged me into
my time machine. "Now off with your clothing, I will
please you!" Fertility goddesses are amazingly direct.
Well, call me a Japanese tentaclemonster, but I always
thought in first place the woman should be pleased.
Incidentally, I carried a few vibrators with me, to
make the cavewomen my will-less sex slaves. I wondered
if a goddess would like it too, revved up the largest one
just for sake of it (as a fertility goddess, she had
probably also an ineffable vagina beyond any mortal size)
and pressed it against Demeters clit.
Hooboy, did she like it. She pressed her hand on her
mouth, for not to alert Zeus with her squeals.
"MMMF! MMMH!" I shortly interrupted the torture.
"I better gag you, right?" "Oooh! Aaah! Yes! Gag me!
And continue, QUICK!" she begged. "And I just found
a body part to...aaaaah!" Protip: With Demeter, all
pathetic declarations are superfluous. My plan was
to finish my explanation while ramming my cock into
her gills, but Demeter had already swallowed it before
I could end the sentence...along with the balls.
How did she managed that without suffocating?
Probably because she was a goddess, nevermind.
I began to lick her clit and shoved the vibrator
deep into her vagina. The vibrator vanished in her.
But still, it fulfilled its purpose and drove her
crazy. Manically, she sucked my dick into the
depths of her throat. I grabbed my arms around her
hips and ripped her body upwards...good that I had
trained with the textbooks - her nefarious breasts
must have weighed some tons alone. Now she was
hanging upside-down and her body weight pressed her
head firmly into my lap and my cock deeply into
her throat, while I continued to lick her senseless.
When she came, her muffled squeal made her voice lips
vibrate around my dick. It wasn't comparable with the
Powerhorse XXL that still tickled her insides but it
was more than enough to make me cum too. My spurts
filled her lungs. A mortal woman would have drowned,
but the fertility goddess was a real cumwhore.
Wow. That was the best sex of my life. Which was
no wonder as it was also the first sex of my life
(if fapping doesn't count - hey, Clinton claimed
that even blowjobs don't count, so there).
"By Zeus, you are better than Zeus!" Demeter sighed.
Which was no wonder as I was also a supergenius
considering sex, of course only regarding theory.
Well, go eat my dick if you won't eat my dick,
schoolmates. I just found love.
"Quick, ask anything from me that I can fulfil!"
"Uhm...Proteus...it would come handy to be able
to change into any other form..." (It was the first
random stuff coming into my mind.) "Granted..."
she whispered and fell into a deep sleep.
OK, the next thing was a bit of speculation on my
part, but she looked to be very willing for another
ride. So, when she awoke, I had transported her to a
little cave that was standing around somewhere
conveniently. I had improvised a bit with the bondage
gear I carried in my time machine (who knows what
cavegirls like?) and she found herself tied
helplessly under the body of a centaur (AKA me).
"Just experimenting with my new powers," I said
nonchalantly. "As a fertility goddess, you like it
big and hard, I guess?" "A centaur...oooh, you naughty
naughty mortal...how big and hard?" As you can
guess, this didn't refer to the somewhat puny
30 centimeters dangling in front of her nose.
"50 centimeters, thick as an arm, ready to drill
a hole in the wall...but first of all, do you take
the pill? After all, if I knock you up, try to hide
THAT from...aaaah!"
My, my, were all fertility goddesses horny as fuck?
Just when I planned to finish my explanation by
thrusting my horse hips forward and giving her
giant vagina some good filling, she already had
thrusted *her* hips forward and engulfed me up
to the root. "Silly mortal, you can't impregnate
me against my MMMPH!" She didn't even bother to
finish *her* explanation properly, but again gave
me a blowjob to remember.
I guess just in case a "Kids, don't try this at
home" might be in order, so: Girls, unless you
are a goddess, it's probably no good idea to fuck
a centaur, horse, bull, dragon, whale or whatnot.
I shortly regretted that the cave was too small to
ride her good and properly, but when I started
thrusting my horse hips back and fro, Demeter did
not complain at all. Nor when I finally filled her
womb and lungs with liters of cum again. After that
we also tried a horse, a bull, a dragon and a whale
(So there. Never heard of a land whale?), I called
it a day. I refused to fuck her as a whatnot. "Mercy,
Demeter! I'm only human!" "Then we should change
that. I see if I can arrange an audience with my
brother. I hope he is in a good mood. Depends
whether he just fucked a nymph and/or collided
with Hera's rolling pin!" She giggled again and
was gone like the spring.
After I could walk in a straight line again,
I unpacked my toolbox. (Impress cavegirl with
hammer and saw, you know the drill.) Greece
was very sunny that era, but I probably needed
a shack for all eventualities. I cursed myself
not to bring an all-purpose robot. A fine
supergenius you are! I nailed and hacked and
spliced all day long until my provisorial home
was ready. I made me a bed of flowers (everywhere
Demeter walks, they grow like crazy) and slept.
Or at least tried, as I saw a woman approaching.
"Demeter, are you back?" A tolerable error,
since it was dark and I only could recognize the
udders. When I lit my flashlight, it was clear -
this was Kim Wilde after dying her hair black
and wearing a ton of goth makeup. Not. Demeter
would rather visit the antarctis than going goth.
So this probably had to be her daughter...
"Persephone, right?"
"The same. You know, my mother couldn't keep
her trap shut about the mortal who fucked her
into seventh heaven, so I'd wanted to take a
look myself. Hmmm, that penis doesn't look like
anything special..." "Oh, thanks a lot. And why
does it bother you anyway? Last time I asked,
you were so happily married to Hades that you
turned a nymph that tried to seduce him into
an asswipe." (For some reason, South Park's
"Unclefucker" tune couldn't get out of my
mind.) "Happily, schmappily. A fertility
goddess needs some fun. And cum. And we have
summer. And a blowjob doesn't count as sex."
And GULP! my dick was again captured deep
inside a divine throat, along with the balls.
Fertility goddesses. Anyone should own one.
"MMMPH! MMHHH!" she said. It sounded dangerously
bored. Good that the Powerhorse XXL was still in
my reach. A bit of tickling, and her boredom
quickly was gone and made way for bafflement
first and ecstasy later. I gave her the same
headlong-into-suffocation treatment as her
mother (thank Zeus, she was considerably
lighter) and didn't forget to double the size
of my penis. "Nothing special, eh?" "MPF!"
she could protest before a big orgasm swept
her away. She drowned in cum too. Amazing
how fertility goddesses like that. Then she
twitched her arms and legs and lay dead.
"Oh my Zeus! I killed Persephone! Me bastard!"
But she just had a death fetish, as I found out,
when she (de-cock-and-balled) could talk again.
"By Hades, you completely killed me. But
then, I'm dead anyway, so fuck it. Quick,
ask for anything I can grant!" "Immortality?"
"I'm the Queen of the Dead, but that is
beyond my powers. But still, here, that's
a key to the Hades maintenance entry.
Or exit, for that. Just don't tell a soul,
especially not Sisyphos, the sneaky fucker.
Ooooh! Kill me again." And she closed her eyes.
Incidentally, I had some fapping material
(artist Alberich is such a sick puppy) on
my smartphone, and I used that as inspiration,
turned into a monster and sucked her dry.
(People who find cunnilingus disgusting should
be force-fed with the love juices of a fertility
goddess. They'll quickly change their mind.)
After that, I force-fed her with cum again,
since it doesn't become a fertility goddess to
look like Mrs. Irish Potato Famine. Seph loved
my treatment so much that (she looked through
all the rest of teh Internets, of course I had
no connection in ERROR B.C. but still an
impressive collection of weird stuff) she demanded
I turn into a Xenomorph and knock her up with
a wombburster. Even I have standards what I'm
willing to do to horny goddesses, but luckily,
in this moment an annoyed Demeter arrived too.
"Here she is. I say, Kore, I say, don't fuck
with anyone. Or at least not with the Lord of
the Dead. Or at the very least not with the ones
*I* fuck! She's such a teenage brat!"
Of a few million years, like her mother, I
thought. "Has she fucked you?" "Uhm, no, it was
just a blowjob...Does a juice sucker in her
vagina count? It was nooo penis, I swear!"
"Pah. Kore and her stupid death fetishes. The lil
cumwhore. Hope you drowned her for good. No,
wait, if you kill her I kill you!" "Mom, I AM
already dead!" Persephone interloped. Demeter
ranted on undistracted. "And don't even think
about giving her the centaur treatment, that's
for me alone! I would have gotten considerably
angry if you gave her the centaur treatment.
You won't like me when I'm angry. Lend my a hand,
you must have pumped ten liters into her,
so heavy is she. Well, actually I can't be really
angry at her or you for that matter, she is just
doing her work as a fertility goddess which she
should do more often..." Demeter threw her
hands into the sky. "Being a mother is a tough
job."
And so we together transported Persephone
to Demeter's snake chariot, and away they
were, and after I shook my head about the fact
that Demeter counted as helicopter parent
before even the word existed, and then *finally*
I could get some sleep.
Then I abruptly rose again, thinking about:
if sleep is Morpheus, would that make me gay?
I gave the whole world a generic bird, fell back
again and snored until the next morning.
I awoke due to the feeling of someone sucking
my dick. "Demeter? Persephone?" I said drowsily
and opened an eye. (Silly question, the balls
were still out.) My chin fell down, sideways
and into 4th dimension. If Bo Derek was a 10,
this was a 100. "Aphrodite?" "You naughty boy,
you, you invented...I don't know exactly what
you invented, but I'm the goddess of love and
sex and HAVE to know why Demeter and Persephone
can't get that stupid smile off their face!"
And then she sucked my dick again. "Oh God!
I mean Oh Zeus! I talk! I talk! Or better,
I show you! Just stop! No, don't stop!"
I hoped that one of the damn vibrators must be
lying in my reach before she would suck out
my brain through my dick otherwise...had it.
One touch at her clit, and the tables turned
quickly. Her dick sucking became less focused
which was kind of a shame, but I don't like
being a sex slave. Aphrodite, on the other
hand, enjoyed it. She squirmed and twitched
and wasn't satisfied until I turned the
vibrator up to eleven. And since the
headlong-into-suffocation-by-oversized-penis
treatment gave me a divine orgasm with
Persephone, I tried it out with Aphrodite
too. She was a bit less enthusiast about
drowning in cum and gasped for air while
cum was dripping from her eyes, nose, ears
and generic pretty face. But just having had
a super duper orgasm she didn't complain.
"Oh mortal, you made the goddess of sex
your sex slave! Quick, I fulfil you any
wish!" "Well...any woman become my sex
slave if I want?" Yes, I admit, that was
a bit egoistic. "Granted...but I don't
think it works on goddesses...Oooooh!
I'm your complete sex slave!"
Call me paranoid, but I had to verify that.
I turned into an Aphrodite-eating plant
and swallowed her. This way, I could
pleasure her divine body with that exquisite
tits (not so giant as the ones Demeter and
Persephone sported, but any porn actress
would kill for them) from head to toe.
My tendrils and suckers were everywhere.
And then my vibrator penis explored her
depths. (If you now complain that
flesh-eating plants don't have a vibrator
penis: I cheated.) I shrink-wrapped her
body and gave her endless orgasms the
whole day long.
And as a thankyou, when I was exhausted
myself and laid down to finally finally get
some sleep, I awoke with my finest vibrator
nicked. Bitch.
"Mortal! So you say it is my destiny to be dethroned?" Zeus thundered. (You won't get an audience as fast at your local IRS.) "Great Zeus, I come from the future, but is it THE future? Is everything predestined? I have no idea..." "Well, I asked the Moirae for a new prophecy and they answered 'Olymp will fall if pigs would fly...' " Zeus grumbled. "So I turned all pigs into bacon preemptively. Am I safe?" "With all due respect, oh great Ruler of the Gods, whereas it was really brilliant of you how you derailed the last threat in that Thetis matter..." Zeus smirked. As the saying goes, estimate with what flattery you can get away with and double it. "...prophecies have a nasty habit to bite you in the ass if you try to avoid it. Like flying bacon, what do I know about Moira humor. Just ask the poor old motherfucker." Zeus broke out into a homerical laugh. "So my suggestion is threefold: a) let Demeter care abound impending desertification, b) if still a fuckwit is making declarations about a new god, no Instant-Smite, which will only elevate him to martyrdom and get even more followers, but rather send down a lower nymph to him or his ilk, to fuck some sense back into him..." (note to the reader: I must admit I stole the idea from the movie "Man Friday", even a supergenius needs his source material) "...and c) demonstrate mankind you are the stern but caring God of all Gods, so that they know what they have in you." "Stern but caring. I like that formula, mortal. Athena, what do you say?" "Whereas b) is a bit unconventional, the mortal shows wisdom. I agree that the last thing we need is another ominous prophecy." "Then I make it so. Dismissed!" And then he shooed me out of Olymp, not even giving me a nymph as a fucktoy reward. Ungrateful bastard.
So my next steps to fame were fucking Demeter, Persephone
and Aphrodite a bit more (of course once at a time,
which involved rather much dish-juggling, but I'm a
supergenius after all), awaking in a palace ("I'm the
goddess of beauty and this shack is no home for my
lover! And I won't run around naked in winter!"),
fucking Persephone who managed to sneak out of Hades
through the maintenance entry ("So that ungrateful
bastard gave you a present after all. Cool erection.
The palace, I mean. Actually, I also MMMPF!") and Demeter
("Good that he didn't rewarded you with a nymph fucktoy,
that really would have angered me! And now love me
LOVE ME LOVE MMMPF!!") some more, and then responding to
the pussy alert at the door, must be Aphrodite again...
I opened, and before I could say "Multiple Orgasm!",
a spear poked into my ribs.
"Athena? I'm happy to see you too?" (If you flunked "Identifying Greek Goddesses 101A": full armor, shield with snake-haired babe on it: 100% Athena.)
"Mortal! You are guilty of defying..."
"The laws of physics, I know." "Worse, smartalec!
The. Laws. Of. Logic!" She interpuncted the sentence unconfortably with her spear. My face was a giant
question-mark. "I'm the goddess of supergeniusdom,
and it wasn't hard for me to find out what goes on
here at night..." "But you are an eternal virgin and
never gave a fuck about sex! So, please don't snitch
on me, will you..." "But that is exactly the point!
It's a scientific problem! How can a lame-o mortal..."
(Athena derisively pinched my nonexistent biceps while
I miffedly murmured in my noexistent beard that I was
at least a supergenius) "...make three goddesses his
sex slaves? Given, Demeter and Aphrodite are total
whores but at least Persephone is happily married!
OK, she's a fertility goddess and by that a whore by
default, but...this demands a personal experiment!"
Athena dropped her armor. Something rose in return.
"Normally I'd turn a mortal into an anomalocaris for
seeing me like that...Count yourself lucky...You find
me attractive, right?" "That git Penis...eh, Paris
didn't know what he was missing! I enjoy the one or
other braingasm, I surely had had voted for you..."
"Liar. You're obviously a tit man. So, what is your
secret? Spit it out already!" "C'mon, not anybody
can have DDD, I find them very nice. And regarding
your other question..." I held up the Powerhorse XXL.
"Huh? A dildo? Mind you, we don't need a visitor
from the future, we invented that totally on our own!"
"I show you...don't panic, I don't intend to deflorate
you and let all Styx break loose, it can be used for
that ends but mainly..." And I set the gadget on
lowest level and pressed it against Athenas clit.
I could have guessed earlier - I must work on my
supergenius powers - Athena never enjoyed sex before,
probably she didn't even shlick. Her legs failed her
and I stowed her away on the lush bed, also courtesy
of Aphrodite. I slowly turned up the volume. "This!
Defies! The! Laws! Of! Logic! Too!" she squealed,
interpuncting the sentence with nerve-wrecking
orgasms. Chalk up another instant sex slave - she
didn't resist when I cut off her squeals with my
dick. I left the balls out and directed my impending
cumshot into her stomach. One should not push ones
luck.
"Ooooh. The Goddess of Wisdom was so stupid. Why, oh
why have I chosen to be an eternal virgin?" "Protip:
Penetration enriches your sex life but it isn't
mandatory. Here, have a vibrator, I brought a whole
bagload." "How can I thank you?" "Can you make me
even more supergeniuser? I find even my level
lacking sometimes..." "Granted! Ooooh!" And with
a last orgasm, she fell unconscious. I tried to
think whether I was different now, but probably it
took a superdupergenius to find out the difference
in supergenius level by mere thinking.
It was really rotten timing that Demeter came in
that moment. Luckily, she burst out in a guffaw.
"Et tu, Athene?" (Since she was Ceres too, she
spoke Latin fluently.) "Ah, don't try to explain,
you horndog. Was she good in bed? Probably not.
Since the universe is still standing. Dumb Athena,
can't properly enjoy the essence of womanhood.
Say you love only me, you bastard!" "I love only
you!" I parroted, which wasn't even a lie.
Demeter could sense that. "Then instantly fuck me!
As an elephant, we haven't tried that out yet!"
Well slap me with a trout, she was right. What
an oversight. Demeter's vagina lovingly clasped
around my jumbo dick, I filled her womb with
a few liters of cum, and everything was forgotten.
As a bonus, I took her as a rhino with my horn.
A hundred multiple orgasms later, she ceded me
I could fuck any woman that happened to willingly
offer herself as my sex slave as long as I
would love only her. Which was good timing as
now Persephone and Aphrodite came in at the
same moment. Aphrodite burst out in laughter too
seeing Athena throwing all fours away, and since
she was the goddess of sex, she couldn't be
angry at me that I fucked a few other goddesses,
since it sorta increased her powers.
Persephone just yawned. "You old motherfucker!"
Which gave her a pissed look by her mother.
Then she declared she only loved her Hady and
she wouldn't be jelly. "No hard feelings of anyone
to anyone else?" I pressed, since the eternal wrath
of a goddess will make your life real shitty.
"No, no!" Demeter, Persephone, Aphrodite and
Athena (who just woke up) greek-chorused.
Just to be sure, I turned into a giant octopus
and pleasured all goddesses at the same time.
It turned out that a tentacle, even of a giant
octopus, can squeeze itself right throught the
hymenal opening of an eternal virgin. (A hymen is
never completely closed, think about why.) I also
squeezed it through the womb openings, you will
be astounded to hear that even the womb has
nerves to be sexually stimulated, it's such a waste
that you can't use that as your run-of-the-mill
mortal woman. The other tentacles were dedicated
to the clits, of course, 8=2*4, I call that an
arithmetic that works out.
And then all four goddesses came in an earthquake
orgasm that would surely have alerted Zeus if
Aphrodite wouldn't have to be so foreseeing to
gave my palace a good sound insulation. (Or maybe
Zeus merely thought his brother Poseidon, argueably
even a greater horndog than him, just was busy
fucking a random nymph.)
This morning I woke up from a deep, unquiet sleep
with ashtray clothes...no wait, that's a
Lloyd Cole line, actually from an angry banging
at the door. OK, which goddess wanted seconds?
Bow and arrow at nosepoint answered it.
"You male swine! I couldn't care much that
you fucked that whores Demeter, Persephone and
Aphrodite, but even Athena falling for you...
Yeah, she spilled the beans at our virgin circle
with Hestia!"
"Artemis, she did that on her own will!"
"Will, schmill, she was out of her senses and
therefore, you have raped her!" Feminazi logic.
Isn't it charming? "My first thought was to
kill you, but I first had to try out what it
was that could so vilefully depower a woman..."
Feminazi logic. Isn't it charming? "...but I
obviously I couldn't have sex with a man, so I
must kill you after all..." Feminazi logic.
Isn't it charming? "...but then I had this
brilliant idea!" POOF!
Her brilliant idea was to turn me into a woman.
And then I had to show her the vibrator-on-clit
trick, and then (remember I had a bagload?)
she returned the favor on me. FeminaAAAAAAAAH!
Teiresias, the old geezer, said that women
have 10x as much fun. I can only second that.
Now the sex slave joke was on me. The joy
didn't last for long, though. Because then I
got penetrated. If you say that's not so bad,
I should add: with a hunting knife she produced
from buggerknowswho, ramming it straight into
my heart. "Of course I have to kill you after all,
lest you might tell!"
The last thing I remember were Aphrodite,
Athena, Persephone and Demeter coming to the
crime scene and clobbering Artemis unconscious
with her own weapons. (I think Hestia too
participated in the clobbering. Can't be
sure, I don't recognize her on the spot like
the others - you probably will only know her
from the Percy Jackson series anyway.) Zeus,
did the bitch deserve it. Unluckily, feminazis
can't die if divine. Unluckily, mortals must.
And so I ended up in Hades.
Hades was really a nice guy, considering he is
the King of the Dead, and not considering I
was fucking his wife, which, thank Zeus, he
didn't know. Also luckily, Persephone's pale
white face wasn't showing any emotion. She was
technically dead at the moment after all.
"So Artemis changed you into a woman to have
some lesbian fun just for the lulz and then
killed you to not telling anybody? Feminazi
bitch. I hope at least the sex was good.
Hey, weren't you the dude from the future
who warned Zeus and got no reward? Here, you
will last the rest of eternity in Elysium,
have Leuke and Minthe as your fucktoys, my
wife is still nagging about those bitches too!"
Elysium. Judging by the plans of Hades (it's
very unfortunate that the place and the god
have the same name, perhaps I should call
him Dis) the maintenance entry was exactly
on the other side.
I was soooo fucked. And I don't mean Leuke and
Minthe.
So, Operation Jailbreak. I only had to cross
Styx and set Kerberos off-trail. But you guessed
it, I'm a supergenius. So step 1 of the plan
was fucking Persephone. And then get caught by
Dis. You may ask, WTF? But you are not a
supergenius after all. (Would you read my
memoirs, elsewise?) Bear with me. Hear it comes.
It didn't surprise me at least that Persephone
visited me in Elysium for some surplus orgasms.
Since divine blessings are independent, my
protean abilities still worked while being dead.
I turned into Kerberos. He was a three-header.
No idea if also in the other place, but why
should I limit myself by stupid mythology
consistency considerations? Persephone surely didn't
complain when one dick went into her vagina,
one into her mouth and one against her clit.
(I had to knot her up a bit for that position,
granted.) And since she liked it large (didn't
you pay attention?), I used the fact that Kerberos
was a K9 to our mutual benefit. Three knots
were swelling up enormously at the same time.
Persephone went into orgasmic bliss. I shot
the next cumshot into her lungs and was stuck
in her for a long time. Fortunately, I could
unswell just before Dis read my anonymous note.
(Timing. A supergenius knows it.) He was so
angry that he even forgot to put on his helmet
of invisibility and I could see him arriving
with smoke coming from his ears. I ran for the
hills, whining and yipping. Persephone grabbed
Dis by the arm. "He's just a stupid monster dog
and practically raped me. Dogs do that. Please
don't punish him so hard," she sighed. "He'll
will go to the cage, the damned cur! And since
you so begged for his mercy...did you enjoy it
after all?...keeping Sisyphos and all the other
buggers from escaping Hades is YOUR job for the
next week! Hrrmpf, wife, I could swear that
you kinda enjoyed it! Good that I know you only
love me! Fertility goddesses!" If Hades had had
doors, Dis would have slammed it.
See? Am I brilliant or am I brilliant? Now for
step 2. Styx was the river that bordered Hades
and the world of the living. And she also was
the goddess of that river. Persephone probably
already told her what a good fuck I was, and in
any case I could throw Aphrodites enchanting
charm at her. Something I didn't threw into the
equation was that Styx was your typical monster
girl, but monster girls are quite hot nowadays.
Still, where dead Persephone was eerie, Styx
was outright scary. I told my dick to STFU,
quit chattering his teeth and fuck her senseless.
Styx afterwards was my total sex slave like the
other goddesses, as you already guessed. A nice
side effect was bathing in her love juices made me
invulnerable. (Don't try that at home, she is very
poisonous.) Step 3 onto land, Profit.
So there I was in the world of the living again.
Only Kerberos had gotten the shitty end of the
stick, but since he's a stupid dog and gods best
friend, he forgave Dis being punished unjustly.
And since I had left a double dildo for Leuke
and Minthe (I had clasped it with my dying breath
since I wisely forethought it could be good for
something when dead - how often do I have to tell
you I'm a supergenius?), they enjoyed it for all
eternity, and Dis, whenever paying a visit in
Elysium, thought *I* had turned into that vibrator
and didn't give it a second thought since a) he
knew about my powers and b) life in Hades is very
drab and people are supposed to act sphexically.
Good that Hades was NO supergenius to suspect I
used my powers on his wife for adultery, and that
neither Leuke and Minthe (eternal orgasms) nor
Kerberos (stupid dog) could talk and rat me out.
"You scared me to death! I had to lie to Zeus that I had a sudden depression flashback about Persephone to explain that I cried a river! Speaking of rivers, I forgive you that you fucked Styx up and down! So good to have you back!" Demeter cried tears of joy. And we quickly celebrated the moment by me turning into Great A'Tuin. "Noooo! You're stretching me too much!" Demeter winced. Demeter complaining about dick size? A day in the calender to mark. She still held my turtle dick in a vice grip and orgasmed to Hades and back. I wondered if I should try the Leviathan from Dr. Who next. Then of course Persephone crashed in and mother and daughter demanded hot snu-snu at the same time, and I changed into a giant anaconda, constricted them together in a big lesbian family reunion and filled both them with one inflatable hemipenis. (Since they are also snake goddesses, I found that fitting. The setting, not the hemipenii. Well, those too.) Oh, and consider getting a forked tongue too, it works wonders with cunnilingus.
So I used my powers to change my face permanently, such that not every Thomasine, Dickless and Harriet goddess would find me, but of course that was moot. And I don't mean the 4chan admin. First one was Hestia who insisted I "light her fire". Since this was Greek mythology, and they had even a goddess for the willing suspension of disbelief (the beautiful Nymph Wat) I managed to enter her vagina through the mouth and the wrong turn at Albuquerque. Just don't ask. She enjoyed her fair share of multiple orgasms too. And of course she had to blabber to Hera.
I wouldn't have expected that Hera would visit me to enjoy the incapaciting tickles of a vibrator, since she was the goddess of matrimony, but it seemed that my charms worked on a goddess after all and she explained: it could hardly be called a marriage when the husband fucks nymphs or mortals on a daily basis. Who am I to argue with female logic. Since these endless orgasms are getting boring slowly, I just say she enjoyed, and there the shit hit the fan. I so fucked her brains out that she forgot to bath in her fountain of virginity, and exactly on the following day Zeus wanted to fuck her just for a change (even a supergenius like me couldn't foresee THAT) and a quick phone to his brother verified who was the fucker behind everything, including the stupid smile on the face of each and every goddess.
Luckily Demeter forewarned me. I decided it was time for a preemptive strike. The first part was a visit to the Moirae. Nobody bothered to fuck with Fate yet, probably because nobody bothered to fuck with Fate yet. And also because they are daughters of Nyx (that Nyx came into my palace too at night, I say - I tried to escape her but since she IS Night I couldn't. I didn't thought a fuckable monster girl could scare me, but she could. *She* had her orgasms and *I* for three weeks had to turn into the Bogeyman to be able to go around dark corners. Primeval Eldritch Abominations. Bummer.) and don't look exactly like the beauty ideal of your normal man. I closed my eyes, thought of Greece and gave the three the first orgasm in their lives. And then another one. And then another 42 to be on the safe side. Fate now probably was with me.
The next meeting on Olymp wasn't that harmonic. I was
feigning to visit my old buddy Zeus on the Olymp and
having got leave from Dis, not knowing I was toast.
They already waited for me and the great payback.
"I put you in Elysium, you bastard!" Even Dis had joined
the fray, which he seldom does.
"I found it rather boring after a day."
"You will die gruesomely, mortal! Again!" Poseidon
chimed in.
"Hey, I didn't fuck your Amphitrite, if my memory serves me
well! Someone already with trite in the name..."
"But most probably at least one nymph I fucked too!"
Zeus summed it up succinctly. "Brothers, spare me details!
He fucked all goddesses of the Olymp behind my back!
And all of my favorite nymphs too! Shut the fuck up,
Hera, you enjoyed it most, you conniving strumpet!"
shouted Zeus so loud that you still could hear it in Japan.
"Well, I pondered doing it in your face was suicidal,"
I tried to have Famous Last Words.
"Aaaargh! Gods! Aim!"
Wow. Zeus was really so pissed that he had provided each
of his fellow cuckolds one of his lightning bolts, which
was his own privilege. (This was part of my supergenius
plan, of course.) The goddesses stood there herded
in an edge, trembling and knowning that torrents would
come down on them after the thunder.
I turned into a flying pig. "Like, oink", I mocked him.
"FIRE!"
Bzzzzap.
Protip to Hephaistos: If you let artificial robogirls
do slave-work in your forge, don't treat them like shit.
Let them have a union. And an orgasm button. And never,
EVER program them in Java, thinking residing in Mount
Etna would be security measurements enough. I sneaked
in as a fire salamander (invulnerability comes very
handy inside a volcano) and hacked in a few thrown
exceptions. The lightning bolts had some unexplainable
technical malfunction.
"Uhm, I think this means that the prophecy just came
true in a totally unexpected way and now I am the
single God of Olymp. Roomba, could you clean up this
mess?" (Roomba was a nymph and handmaiden to Hestia.
She broomed together the ashen remains of the once
powerful Olympians.) "Any objections?"
The goddesses quickly thought of orgasms past and
future, and that I possibly now owned the powers of
the deceased parrots either, and had no objections.
"That's fine. I estimate high fidelity. Girls, have
a gratification." And then I turned into a giant
amoeba. Amoeba porn is a really neglected art, given
that you can pleasure the women in all places, even
those that a dick can't reach. Even the virgins.
Zeus had been so kind to invite even the lowest
demigoddess to his backfired smiting to make his
point clear, so it was the largest orgy the Olymp
ever saw. And I made them all squeal in endless orgasms.
I found the overall situation very satisfying.
After that, I declared the new rules. I would only be the formal Big Boss and not interfere with the business of the goddesses, but backstabbing me and being an unnecessary asshat to mankind (necessary asshattery in return, cf. Tantalos, still being allowed for fun and profit) would be punishable by orgasm denial. (Note: After I quickly had to make an example of Hera, who else, keeping her pre-orgasming and begging for mercy a whole day long, it stuck.) And of course I had to sooth poor Persephone. But after I "killed" her a whole day long with multiple orgasms, she was finally over Dis. (Didn't want to kill him, he was quite an affable dude for a death god, but prophecy is prophecy. Complain to the Moirae.)
Some mopping up (other than by Roomba) was in order,
too. Even as a supergenius, you can't predict all the
fallout. For example, talk about earthquakes. You
might find earthquakes are a plague, from your limited
mortal standpoint, but actually they are needed for
plate tectonics on a cosmic scale. No Poseidon, no
earthquakes. Earthquakes are Gaias orgasms. You don't
want to make Gaia angry. I had to plunder Hephaistos'
shop to improvise some oil drills. Extra large. That
did the trick. Checkmark GTS fetish too.
What else? The Trojan warriors in the meantime all had
killed each other, so I set up a large RPG area in
Hades where they could play on until hell freezes over.
With proper RPG rules, I mean, Achill is the total
game breaker. For the rest of the deceased, daily
orgys to make afterlife more interesting. I left Seph
in charge but she could now leave all the time, so to
make her mother happy. The only thing I didn't change
was the eternal torture area. C'mon, read about what
Tantalos did, her fucking deserved it.
Oh, and Athena came in and begged...well, she had my
cock so quickly in her mouth and was orgasmed into unconsciousness in no time that she could only tell one
hour later that she didn't want to be a virgin any
longer. Damn. As Lord Acton said, absolute power
corrupts absolutely, and blatantly, I detected the first
signs on me. Uh oh. The might end up as a case for
Nemesis. (You don't have to be a supergenius to guess
that I was so clever to preemptively fuck her senseless
too. Ah, isn't it dandy when any problem can be solved
with a good multiple orgasm? Where we're at that,
breaking the oath needed breaking Styx. After a day
of the standard vibrator treatment she was broken
enough to disband all virginity oaths.)
So that's that. I fear all this Greek Kamasutra is
becoming boring so I just cap it off with a random
scene. Seph sees weirdo Penis-Spit-Pic from smartphone
collection. Seph must try. Seph can be talked out
with last resorts to not accompanying it with hadesfire
spitroast. (Sorry, violence to women only by orgasm
torture. Even hybris has standards.) Seph gets her
wish and enjoys playing dead. Mother comes in, instantly
joins daughter on kebab, does not play dead, especially
as daughter manages to sneak her tongue out of her
impaled mouth onto her mothers clit. More orgasms.
'Dite comes in and is annoyed she hasn't ever invented
that position. Can *not* be talked out to blowjob the
rest of my dick which is size-adapted to fertility
goddesses. Bites off more than she can chew, so to say.
Possibly would have complained when drowning in a liter
of cum if I hadn't licked her into nirvana anyway.
(I should make a drawing.)
My next plan is leading mankind into the computer age, since I begin to experience signs of Internet withdrawal. (The porn I could easily forego, but try to live without TVTropes!) I think I will better skip climate change (I made Demeter my favorite, we are galloping through the botany - she loves sex in free nature - and I flood her with centaur cum on a daily basis, and she greens the deserts - every other goddess must queue - OK, the queue is rather long, I usually do another amoeba orgy or the poor girls would have to wait until Hades freezes over), loony religions (I always have a nymph handy to fuck sense into prophets), misogyny (any mortal woman can directly appeal to me, and she will given justice and the one or other orgasm) and other shit. Yesterday, I suddenly remembered a detail from Greek mythology: Wait, isn't the stuff with the lightning bolts made by Hephaistos not a stupid error made by Disney cartoons et al? Weren't it the cyclopes that ruled the bolt factory? And when we're at plot holes anyway, speaking Greek and making puns that only work in English? Goddesses leaning on OOC behavior? More plot holes? What happended to all the minor male gods? And it dawned to me that the whole Greek mythology I was thrown into maybe was bending to my expectations, explaining all the unbelievable God Sue plot.
But I refuse to even consider I'm just a character in some lame-ass hentai story (because if you begin to do that, there is a 99% chance that you are). Maybe I even died in that time machine and in reality this is just my Dildo. No, Limbo. Waffle, Bardo. Sorry I can't research that for you yet, Demeter needs her daily cum intake, Athena wants help on the Riemann hypothesis, Hera is qualifying for another anvil, Aphrodite is complaining the goddess of sex needs more sex, I didn't have the bloody time to deflower Hestia yet, Artemis is on her knees and begs to set her free after one year of orgasm denial torture, Persephone demands that I fuck her mother even more frequently so that she has more free time (read: with me, and I'm really not THAT into snuff fetish), so maybe I update my report in a millennium. Bye-bye.
The End